To Live Is To Love

Time Heals

2009-06-11T21:10:00.001+08:00

Having talked to a friend today, I realised that there are so many people out there who are facing much terrible experience in life than what we can see under our nose. Or of what we experienced ourself.

Lots of us thought that we are the unlucky one, would be asking of why does the things happen to us not others, that people surrounds don't understand us as if we want things to be our way all the time etc etc... I admit, sometimes I get dissatisfied, enraged and upset when I have to have difficulties. I started to compare myself to others. But, as I listened a lot from my friends about their lives, I started to think back that things were not that bad with me. So as all of you out there.

Thing is, we all have problems. We all do have hiccups in life - family, relationship, friendship, works, financial name it. We all experience it. But, it's up to ourselves to choose on how to handle it or how to feel about it. Certain things are not necessarily taken heavily. Sometimes we thought that's the end of thing only to find out few days later, THAT things are all fixed to the better.

Learned to take things easy when facing difficulties but doesn't mean you can take it for granted and totally ignore it. Yea! Yea! Ignorance is bliss but as quoted by friend - Imelda, it causes stupidity. :) ** curi jap mel.

Though some problems may not be resolved easily, times will take it away. Or, times will slowly show the way. Times will heal though it could be hard but it will.

Really??

- Restless -

2009-06-08T20:20:00.004+08:00

It's a restless day,

So as two days ago,

So as few days to come,

Dont know when will it stop,

When will I can let go,

It hurts and it's suffocating,

Holds me so tight, I can hardly breathe,

Dreaming, Smiling, Enjoying, Fading, Losing...

Delusioning in this little world is simply torturing,

Ignorance doesn't work, it ain't easy to disappear,

Where else will I belong if it's not here,

No beginning yet no ending...

Life is so restless!

* Liv *

Happy 2nd Birthday, my girl...

2009-06-07T23:21:00.005+08:00

3rd June 2009

"Been 2 years since you came to this world,

Been 2 wonderful years since you filled my life with great joys,

Been 2 years of love and happiness,

Thank you for coming into my life, girl..."

This is a late posting. My girl has turned 2 years old on the 3rd June 2009. Gosh! I can't believe it has been two years (and more to come...). Two great years of love and companionship. The party was great but I did not get to capture many photos as I had to run around to ensure there's enough foods and drinks. Attendance turned out more than I expected so me & dad has to make a last minute "tapau" from nearby coffeeshop as additional. Even the 2 photos attached here are cropped. And I didn't take any photo of us alone. :(

But It's okay. I'm happy enough to see my daughter is happy on her special day.

*****

Tell you what, it was a wonderful moment with you. For a while, you made me feel happy and loved and belonged. For just a while, I feel I'm with you. I know it's not for long, I understand why. But I won't ask for more. Thank you...

Misses you

2009-05-20T21:52:00.004+08:00

How can I describe to you my feeling tonight,

How do I let you know that I missed you so much,

Thinking of you day and night, wish I could hold you tight,

Truly sweetheart, Mommy misses you so very much!

Koff..Koff...

2009-05-19T22:31:00.002+08:00

I've been coughing badly these few days. Huhu... anyone can suggest me how to treat it? Apart from medicine...

Practise Alone Ain't Enough

2009-05-17T19:40:00.004+08:00

The choir performance for BM mass today did not turn out so well. Although we have practised yesterday but things seems to be out of order. Especially in communication. For Psalm, a choir member is supposed to sing it, instead the first reader continue to reading the Psalm skipping the singging part. Poor Bonny. He has been practising so hard for it yesterday. Better luck next time yeah, Bonny. Maybe next week. : )

Sometimes I wonder, what does it feels like when you can sing so well, maybe like Beyonce?? Or Darlene Zschech of Hillsongs? You can scream in high notes and the song still sounds so beautiful.. Huh! I wish I could do that!

I feel a little offended with an ex-schoolmate I've just bumped into. He saw me with Amanda a couple of week ago. When we chatted today, he popped a question about my husband. When I told him that I'm not married, his reaction changed. Suddenly, from being so friendly, he talks less. Well, my guess is he's just too shocked to react. So, it's fine... Just a little bit offended though, I'm alright.

Nite now...

I am a flower quickly fading,

Here today and gone tomorrow,

A wave tossed in the ocean,

A vapor in the wind.

Still you hear me when I'm calling,

Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,

And you've told me who I am.

I am yours.

- Casting Crows : Who Am I -

Speak English, boleh?

2009-05-15T23:20:00.005+08:00

It's been almost 3 months in Bintulu. So far everything is okay. Well, not really EVERYTHING, but nothing that I can't live with, except for missing my girl every second. That is why I travel down to Miri almost every weekend although it was very tiring sitting in the bus for 3 hours and a half.

Work on the other side....hm...rated just ok ok lah! I have a slight annoying communication issue at work. As the person who's handling a project order, it would be easier when everyone cooperate accordingly and provide me with necessary information so I could make an appropriate follow up. Thing is, whenever we were to discuss some issue (informally), these particular people somehow communicate in their dialect and it went on and on leaving me staring in blurriness. Although I tried to make them notice "that I'm standing just next to you hey...hello?? and I don't understand your language. Speak English please...", But it doesn't work. Instead of looking stupid just standing there knowing nothing what they are saying, I returned to my own cubicle. And the next day, I have to ask about the same thing again and they expect me to already know?? What the heck...

You see, I don't mind when 2 people who understand each other's dialect and feel more confortable communicate with it, talking in that dialect. Mengumpat? Komplen? Suka hati! But in something official and important and work-wise, please do not expect us to be a genius sampai right away terer mauk tangkap what you have been talking about dalam bahasa yang aku tak pernah belajar. What's wrong with using English? Or BM at least. Bukannya diorg tak pandai!

Today, when I wanted to clarify on one of our order with my superior, instead of providing me with necessary information, she sempat membebel at me and whining as to why I didn't follow up with the issue much earlier. Irritated, I explained to her that all follow up and email reply has been done. All I want is a clarification on some delivery issue and she dragged it like I have not done my job. You want prove? I'll show you the prove babeh!

Sigh! After a long absence, all I can come out with in this entry is whining about job?? Aih! Sorry guys... It's not that I hate my job, just that the system is a bit improper. I know, I know...every offices has its own crisis. I'll try to overcome mine.

Nite now!

100th Post

2009-04-26T15:00:00.004+08:00

This is my 100th post!! Yay! Congratulations to myself for being able to reach it here. An thanks to those who have been visiting me every now and then, supporting...though my blog is not as interesting as the rests. Hehe.... Keep visiting, yo!

************************************************************

I decided to spend this weekend in Bintulu. I was too tired to travel back to Miri this time. Haven't got enough sleep the whole week. AND NOW....I regret it so much. It was so bored that I don't know what should I do to kill the time. All I have is Internet. Even TV is not working. Yesterday, I signed up myself as a church choir member. I joined them in thei rehearsal. Hahaha....It's my first time ever eh. At night I joined the Prayer Meeting in Kidurong. It took bout 2 hours and a half so by the time I came back, I just went to sleep.

Now today! For the first time in a couple of years, I woke up at 10am! I didnt straight away got up. I spent a few more minutes just lying in bed, played some music on my laptop, thinking. about 30 mnts later, then only I started my laundry, took shower, tidying up my room etc... Strange, I remember this feeling. It's like going back to that year when I was all alone. Where I spent the whole day in weeks just on my own. Nobody to talk to, nobody to go out with or even, nobody to look at in the face. The feeling that made me so empty, that could kill me softly if I was not that strong...

So, I grabbed my car keys and went out of the house...

Next time when I decide about staying in Bintulu for the weekend, I'll make sure I save some plans!

*****************************************************

When I told mom that I was not going home this week, she went silent for a while. Then she passed me her usual advice. "Don't go out too much especially at night." Hehe....Mom...I have the feeling that she might thought that I am gonna spend my weekend with new boyfriend or something like that, because I'm not going back. Hahaha..... If only she knows how much I wanna be in Miri right now.

I'd rather spend my days with this hot little girl than with anybody else. :)

Pedulikah Saya...?

2009-04-22T22:42:00.003+08:00

I don't know, I don't think so. I am most probably not. Why would I care anyway. I'm not playing any part of it as far as I'm concern. Not ANYMORE. They would never care too I'm sure.

But somehow, the feeling of losing part of it is like losing part of me. Like there's a small hook that has been there somewhere in my heart for so long, holding on and out of the sudden, they pull the string, grabbing out that little part that I cherish...without warning ...

I tried to remember everything... the joy, the laughter, the smile, the fight, the pain, the silence, the absence and the presence. All in mixed feeling yet beautiful and fresh to reminisce. I wish I could just jump into the ocean, with my eyes close yet breathing normally and keep swimming to nowhere - do not bother about hitting a whale, till I reach that stop where I would just float for a while....... and return. With my eyes open and ready to see what's ahead! (only if I could swim, that is. Hahaha..)

"I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up, take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion, yeah
Let the rain of what I feel right now come down
Let the rain come down"

- Blue October : Into The Ocean -
(makseh, mel. kacak lagu sidak tok)
.

Was it really matter to me that I'd write about this? Was it ever that bothering me? They do not care. So.... Pedulikah saya....?

P/S: A friend is confused of his own opinion. He seems to see every religion is not right and thought whatever they practice in their prayer are stupid and crazy. Debating with him is like talking no sense because to him faith alone is not enough. He looks at things with facts. Well, we're not living in a world of science application alone.

2 april 2009

2009-04-02T12:53:00.003+08:00

P/S: My picture editing sungguh tak menarik so I took out the header pic. Will try to look for something more refreshing...

I thought this decision that I've made was the right thing and it's what I want!! But why now ~especially after someone talk me over last night~ I start to doubt it?? Aduh! What the hell is wrong with me. Always got affected with people's comment. Can't I just stick with my own opinion? Aih....so geram.....

My Internet connection was not up recently. My broadband has expired and I dont know where is the center in Bintulu to pay my bill. Besides, I'm so lazy to look around. So, biarlah.

I found a friend's response being quite funny. When he has an opinion on something or someone, and mine was opposite to his, I realised that he would try to reverse the opinion to make it like mine. Do you get what I'm trying to say? Hehe....confusing a bit eh. It's like this... For example he told me about someone else's deficiency. The next day he texted me to keep it low or do not mention it to that person's friend. Let me put down the conversation:

Him: Just to remind you about what I told you last nite regarding B. Everything is P&C. I don't want you to tell A cause she might tell it to B.

Me: Well, you're lucky that I'm not the kind of person who enjoy spreading other people's deficiencies. Don't worry. I don't even intend to remember whatever you've told me.

Him: Oh, actually I'm also like you. I don't like to talk bad about people.

For all I know, he has been telling me about other people also before this. Haih.... Need to cover yourself meh? ;p

So, that was one of the example. Ada lagi la other than this kind but no need to mention la. Hehe....cali eh!

I'm A Natural Human Being

2009-03-16T22:35:00.005+08:00

Aih! Since I moved here, I've got problems connecting to Internet. I know Digi connection is depending on the coverage strength so since the connection around my home in Miri didn't normally face this problem, I guess this must be the area I'm living at now. Disappointing~~ I can't log in to my YM from here. :( Even blogging was not that convenience. There are few times I have typed some entries, when I got something to talk about but suddenly the line disconnected. When I tried to reconnect bac, the page is gone and I have to click "Back" button when all my typing has already gone. Sigh! Penat aku taip...

I missed my little one at this moment. Every moment to be exact. I went home last weekend. Aih! Only been there for a nite - we worked on Saturday akso - that was not quite enough. To those who's been asking, Amanda has grown to 35cm recently. Do your measurement now. Hehe... She's getting heavier too I might break my spine if I get to carry her long enough ;p Tipulah.. Since I left her to work in Bintulu, she's been so close to me whenever I'm home. Pity her. She must has been asking where'd I been. She doesn't wanna let go of me when I'm around. Even when I just wanna go to the kitchen or get up from my sit to get something from across the room. Although when I'm off to Bintulu, Mom said she's been good. She didnt look for me but at times, she'd called me. Like "mommy...mommy....nenen amiii..." when she wants her milk or when she cried she'd call my name like she wants me to confort her. Sigh! I feel so guilty. I want her as much myself. I really need to get a house very soon so she can come with me.

Not many of my friends know about what's happened to me. Only a few I have talked to about Amanda. Though some may have found out themselves ~whether from other friends or could be by reading this blog~, not all are clear with the real situation. I didnt say much about it. Just to make it clear, it's not that I dont wanna share it with you but it's more complicated that anyone could imagine and it's never been easy for me to talk about it freely. Even my relatives have only heard a brief facts. Jer, I'll talk to you soon.

It's been quite a very long time since I felt for a stranger. Not since secondary school. Ugh! I told Jerry about it today. So embarrasing ;p ....... It is embarrasing guys. I didnt wanna write about it here actually. Cause it sounds like teenage crush but Jer said I should. Erm...actually, it's not really a crush. It's like this.....

I saw a guy during Ash Wednesday mass and he catched my attention right away. I thought he looks good. I didnt really put a thought on him after that of course. To me, it was more like "Oh, he's a good-looking guy" and that's it. A mere compliment to a stanger. Besides, I was off to Bintulu that following week.

My first weekend, I went home to Miri .... That Sunday, I noticed him again at church. It's clearer this time. I walked pass him. And for the second time I agreed "Yeah! He is good-looking". Just like before, I forgot about it again the following week.

Last Sunday, I saw him one more time. I couldn't believe I noticed his presence again, like that's a big deal..Duh! This time, I was sure he was looking at me. Or should I say staring? Cause I stared back at him. There goes a blank stare for a few seconds. I turned my head to my cousin next to me and walked away. But I was carrying the oh-so-heavy sleeping Amanda so maybe he was trying to guess how old am I when I became a mom. Or worse, he might thought I was annoying. Maybe I am. Hehe.....

Anyway, it's just some sharing of what I've been doing. No, this is not a crush or whatsoever. It's just something I noticed and looked at. It's nowhere in my concern the following days. So, don't misinterpret yeah. I'm just being human ;)

As it's getting late now, I better back off from this computer and go back to my pillow. Otherwise, I might end up sleeping late again. Nite nite....

P/S: Work was good today. I enjoyed what I was doing. :)

Blessed Lent my friends...

Bought all Twilights

2009-03-11T21:41:00.003+08:00

People say, when you have been jobless for quite some time and having difficulties in getting a job, once you get one there'll be even more options come in. Hm, guess that's what happening to me now. :( But I'm sticking to the one that comes first. :)

I've bought all sequence of Twilight saga novel. Am reading New Moon now. I don't know why I so stick to the novels although I found the first one quite overdid but it was still nice reading it though. It's like getting into a different world which to our insanity, has never really existed. At least that's what we believe. Heehe..Vampires huh ;)

Hmmphh...Outta idea. Go to bed now. Nite!

Random

2009-03-04T19:57:00.002+08:00

For me, guys who think that plus-sized girls are not attractive and those who take appearance into account before they make the next move is shallow minded. And it's disrespectful to judge people who are plus-sized as "kuat makan" and "sangat berat". Ape jer....

First Updates From Bintulu

2009-03-04T18:24:00.002+08:00

It's been 3 days since I started my new job. 3 days since the last time I hold Amanda...cry..cry. So far, things has been doing great. The job was somehow quite tough cause I have to learn on handling projects. Engineering projects. The kind of line I have never been involved in, never imagined I would involved in. It's tougher when I don't even have a basic knowledge in this industry and terms used in the documents sound so alien to me. ??????? Ah Oli, it's only been 3 days la.

Colleagues on the other side are very accommodating. There's no introduction or chit-chatting or where-do-u-come-from kind of boring questions. Every were just concentrating on what they're doing and talk about necessary things. It's not like the boss is very fussy about all this but the staffs were just being professional at their job - which is good! It was just very comforting that they don't bother to know every details about your personal things.

Another thing that I need to settle is a place to stay. I need to get a place of my own. Currently, I'm squatting at cousin's. Since she has a family, it's not nice to stay in for too long.

Hmmm, what else huh? I guess that's it for update for now. Let's see what's gonna happen in the next few days. Fuh!!! Finally, I've got some happenings in my life. Thank you, God...

P/S: I still missed Amanda so much!! Sob...Sob...

Arrive in Bintulu

2009-03-01T20:21:00.000+08:00

I just arrived in Bintulu this afternoon. My family accompanied me driving all the way to Bintulu from Miri. We took off with 2 cars. One belongs to my brother. Amanda also followed. Hehe...So cute! Sheesh! That was a darn long journey man! Long, boring, tiring and frustrating. It took me 2 hours and a half to reach Bintulu.

The first 45 minutes was quite relaxing because we were travelling along the coast. Hey, I love beaches and seaviews very much. They are just so beautiful....and wide! And then come the next hours where the views were all about oil palm plantation. Dang!! They were everywhere. Right, left, back and ahead. Baby palm trees, big palm trees, old palm trees... It's all that I could see. Nothing excited me along the way and it makes me sleepy. Yeah! I got very drowsy just now that I was so worried if I accidentally fell asleep. Tried hard to keep my eyes open eh. The road conditions pulak.....Sigh! What can I say. Road in Sarawak.... Very frustrating coz it hurts my car. Huhu....

Since I arrived in Bintulu, since I waved Amanda goodbye, I was so down. I missed her soooo much. Being at home all this time while I was jobless, I spent most of the time with her. I saw her almost every hour unless I go out of the house to run errands. And now, I start working at a place far away from her and I won't get to see her everyday, I hurts me so deeply with just thinking of it. Well, although I can still go home every weekend. And when I get a place of my own, she and mom can come spend the week with me.

Okay, gotta sleep now. Tomorrow I'm waking up early to work. Besides, am so tired after that long journey.

P/S: Amanda dear...can't stop imagining you next to me. Missed you so much darling!

I got a job! yay!!!

2009-02-19T23:48:00.004+08:00

Haih!!! Been away for too long already eh. My notebook was "sick" the past few days. I had to replace the HDD since the old one was corrupted. Eeee.... geram coz I had to spend on that but no choice.

By the way, I've got the job in Bintulu. It was a good offer so I took it and I hope this gonna be a good start for me. I'm reporting on duty on 1st of March so probably won't be online for quite some time which means, less blogging or maybe none at all for a while until internet connection is up at that place I'm gonna stay at. Although, I won't stop blogging so do come back and check things out over here ya.

See ya...

2009-02-06T22:19:00.003+08:00

I went to Bintulu today to attend an interview. Oh, was I lucky because the trip expenses are all claimable from the company. Not bad huh?! Going on a free trip for interview.

I bought a return ticket which falls on the same day so I don't have to stay overnight in Bintulu. I took off as early as 6am from home because the schedule is at 7.15am. Over the counter the MASwings lady suggested me to check in for Bintulu-Miri route as well so I dont have to rush to the airport. So I did. My trip from Miri to Bintulu was all fine. The weather's fine, smooth flight, took taxi to the office and reached there few minutes before time.

The interview session went well. There were 3 interviewers - all were nice, questions weren't harsh, I can say it went smoothly. But the boss said they have to go through the procedure and interview other candidate that they have called in. So, it will take some time again before I get the answer. Don't put any hope cause this kind of respond usually goes silent. If God means this job for me, then I will get it.

It was my first time in Bintulu. To be honest, I don't quite like the place. It seems bigger than Miri but I don't feel excited to be there. Well, maybe I need to stay there to develop the likeness. And then, the airport is so effin far from town, I wonder why... The journey from airport to town to me is like from KLIA to Subang Jaya - difference is the road is narrower, and boring sight. Not much to observe along the journey since there's not development yet. But I guess, they have a good reason to put it (airport) away from town.

Spent time at my friend, Emmelyne's office. At first I thought of visiting one of their shopping mall The Parkcity Mall, but I don't feel like roaming around alone PLUS, I would want to spend money when something caught my eyes at the shops so I better avoid it. I was so confident that my flight back to Miri was scheduled at 1:40pm. I waited in Emmelyne's office till lunch time so we can have lunch together before I go back.

After lunch, the taxi I called has already waited for me. So, I went straight to airport without worrying anything cause I thought I still have plenty of time. Reached airport, went into the departure hall, smell something funny there - didn't know what was it but it certainly was not pleasant. And then, one of the MASwings guy spotted me. I guess he recognized me from my arrival in the morning. After he made sure who I am, he humbly apologized and informed that I have missed the flight. I was like "HUH?! Seriously? I thought my flight is at 1:40pm and now is only 1:10pm. Was it reschedule to fly early?" "No, maam. Your flight is at 1:05pm. 1:40pm is supposed to be your arrival time in Miri." DANG!!! I felt so stupid. I mistakenly look at the time. Now, nothing I can do about it unless I waited for the next flight which is THE NEXT DAY. Totally impossible cause I have Amanda at home.

I straight away opted for bus trip. 3 hours pun tak kesah la. Importantly, I must reach home today. I took a cab to the bus station which took me about 40mnts. Bought the bus ticket, lucky enough the bus was just about to leave. While in the bus, I didn't want to think about anything else. What's over is over, it's time to take a nap. Yes, I took a nap in the bus because I can't tahan my eyes anymore. Was so sleepy, man!

Finally, after a 4 hours trip (it took longer to reach Miri probably because we stopped a bit longer than usual at the other station), I reached home safely. It's really good to see Amanda's face. Oh, how I missed her so much the whole day.

Lesson learnt: Never check-in early to avoid confusion ;p, Always double check the ticket and never too over confident. But I guess it does not work on me. Sigh! when will I stop being so careless.... Haha....

Landslide Incident in Miri

2009-02-05T14:18:00.008+08:00

Another shocking news on landslide incident - latest one. I've got the info from miricommunity.net.

END OF THE ROAD AFTER LANDSLIDE

Two cars tumble 15m into ditch February 04, 2009

INSTEAD of a smooth road ahead, there was a ditch about 15m deep and 100m wide.

And that was what two cars plunged into at about 6.30pm on Saturday in Miri, Sarawak's second-biggest city, after a landslide. The two drivers had been heading towards the area from opposite directions. Nine people were hurt and seven, including a pregnant woman, were sent to hospital. All were in stable condition, reported China Press.

The landslide came after several days of rain in the area that had caused the soil to erode. The first car had six people and some had to be helped out by resident nearby. Soon after, residents saw the second car heading towards the ditch. However, they were unable to stop it in time.At about 8pm, they tried to raise the cars with a crane, but a second minor landslide stopped their rescue efforts.The landslide was not the first in the area in the past month. A 16 Jan landslide saw two petrol station workers near Canada Hill in Miri buried alive.

Last week, three people died and seven injured when a landslide affected a hostel in Limbang, while on Friday, a landslide at Miri destroyed eight houses in a village.

Pics:

First Canada Hill landslide which killed 2 petrol workers - 16/1/2009

Landslide @ Kpg Lereng Bukit Miri - 30/2/2009

The latest landslide along Miri-Bintulu coastal road

This recent one looks pretty bad. The road collapsed. Thank God all those involved are saved. Today, it has been raining again - heavily. Hope there won't be more incident. God bless our land...

p/s: Source and photos taken from MC.net

The Sight Of Miri Through My Eyes

2009-02-05T01:25:00.008+08:00

Some photos in my collection. I don't photoshop, just played with the color range and brightness level...

Taman Selera Miri

Along Pujut-Kuala Baram Road

Senadin Lake

Taman Awam stream

Only for children below 12yo

P/S: Please bear with my amateur skills ;)

Dreams of Hatred

2009-01-30T12:50:00.004+08:00

It was a weird dream I had last night. And it's weird that I still remember cause I don't usually recall any dreams I had. In my dreams, there's these few people who are related to me in many ways, hated me for certain things I did. I couldn't remember what were all the causes but they were angry, disappointed, hate me..... It's been quite some time since I last thought of these people or even talked to them. I have no idea how they can appear in my dream now. Was there anything that I wasn't over with them? Or did I say anything that might have hurt them (well....I supposed I could have)?

Or maybe it was just a dream. That could be my only consolation and stop thinking of it.....

Should I give up
Or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere
Or would it be a waste
Even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there?
Should I give up
Or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere....
(Adele - Chasing Pavements)

Eclipse 2009 in Miri

2009-01-26T23:31:00.009+08:00

Solar Eclipse phenomenon happened today, you all know right? I just found out few days ago and have set a reminder in my cellphone so I won't forget. I must watch when it happen. Sakai bah saya ;p

So, as estimated by the astrology department, the eclipse will appear in few places in Malaysia at around 4.30pm to 7pm. Having nothing to do today during this CNY - no place to go visiting and collect angpow ma. So pity.... - me & Gladys plan to be outside when this phenomenon happen. I brought Amanda along as no one's home to lok after her. We got out of the house at 5pm and headed to Marina Bay. There were still no signs of eclipse at that time. I've never been to Marina Bay before. Marina Bay is newly developed place to hang out by the shore. Not much things there yet, just some restaurants and soem decks to enjoy the wonderful view by the sea but I heard there's gonna be few housing developments around that area.

When we arrived, the sun was still as bright as normal but with a few clouds covering. I was wondering if we have actually missed the eclipse while it was covered by the thick clouds.

Took some pictures while we were there. Amanda enjoyed the wide running space so much that she didn't want to get into the car when we wanted to go home. Some pics to share here:

The Marina Bay Miri

See how happy she is? Amanda I mean. Hehe...

And here are some pictures og the Eclipse taken by some fellow Mirian:

Amazing!!! Isn't it?

CNY wish

2009-01-26T12:27:00.003+08:00

WISHING ALL MY CHINESE FRIEND

A HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!!

Twilight Novel

2009-01-23T11:50:00.004+08:00

I've just done reading Twilight. Hm, I know that was late considering that the book has been a hit worldwide quite a while ago. Better late than never right? ;)

It took me one day and a half to finish it. Haih....actually I wish I could read it all in one go. I mean like keep reading it from the beginning to the end. But that's not possible of course when there's more other thing to pay attention at. I have to steal as much free times as I could to read. Hehe....Sist's frownings everytime seeing me in my concentration somehow amusing. She couldn't believe that I can actually put myself seriously in reading a book especially one that I like.

Having watched the movie prior to reading the book, I can see many differences in term of the story plot. I found the book more interesting than the movie. That maybe because the contents in the book are more detail. Well, they can't put everything in acting right? However, I can't picture Bella in the book as Kristen Stewart (who plays Bella in the film). She sounds to me like someone else with different face and different character. Don't get me wrong. I like Kristen. She's very pretty and I like her as Bella in Twilight movie. I just thought that, she's doesn't look the same with the one pictured in the book. Edward is......somehow beyond any existence in this world. But Edward do sound like Edward in the movie. And throughout reading, I was able to picture Robert Pattinson everytime it comes to Edward part. Is there a real Edward Cullen in this world pleaseeee??? Sigh! I wish....

To be honest, I was more attrracted to Dr Carlisle Cullen in the movie. What was his real name? Peter Facinelli kah? I dont remember the surname. But, he was so charming and attractive and handsome. Edward is handsome too but I kinda prefer Carlisle. Oh gosh! I think I know why..... because Carlisle was more matured and Edward was a teenager. And me having passed that early youth stage now prefer maturity more. Hahaha...... I'm getting more aware of my aging ;p

Enough commenting. I'm looking forward to get New Moon - the sequel. I guess I can only get it online as the book is outta stock here in Miri. Poor Miri...When can we have a MPH store here. Right! gotta go now.

Should we actually let it happpened again?

2009-01-13T22:22:00.003+08:00

Poor those who have lost their life in the recent boat-capsize tragedy in Indonesia. Poor those who have lost their family members in the tragedy. I couldn't imagine their grief and sadness for not being able to say a proper good-bye. It has not been long since the same tragedy happened in the Philippines. The same cause - bad weather condition. As my intention is not to put any blame to any sides, I do have my own opinion and questions as to how the incident can happen. The most important factor - the weather condition. Who do not aware about stormy raining season in South East Asia for the past few months? Everyone knows it has been raining almost every day which has caused certain areas been hit by flood especially now in Sarawak, it is consider the worst in a very long time.

What bothers me is, do they really need to let it sail even during this kind of weather? Well, I know the business has to move on but at least not to sail at night time. Of course, who can predict accident. I do not once meant to judge the destiny. I actually has a lot to say but somehow some sense make me need to stop. Dear friends, let us pray for the lost souls. May they be at their peace.

What a mother feels..

2008-12-30T01:02:00.003+08:00

Shutz!! It's already 1:11AM and I didn't realise the time passed. And here I am still online. Although during the day I was so sleepy even when I was driving. I don't normally get affected too much by sleepiness when I drive but today was exceptionally tiring. Sigh!

I was viewing my little friends' blogs just now. They are just 13 and 11 respectively and they already have a blog of their own and write very well. So do their friends of same age. But that's pretty normal nowadays isn't it? What touches my heart more is how they now started to have a crush on guys. Like really really into it. Well of course, at this early stage, it kinda excites them having all these crush thingy especially when all their friends are doing the same thing. So it's kind of like a trend or something. I remember when I was at this age, I'd never thought of guys being cute or whatsoever. Nor did I care to make myself looks good to them. Big shirts, baggy pants, middle parting hairstyle. LOL Not much exposure maaa....

Then I was thinking. This is the new world. People are getting advanced each year. Kids are getting mature very early and they say stuffs that we only get to say when we were 18. Thanks to the media info! Is this gonna happen to Amanda too? Will she be having her first boyfriend at the age of 12? By that time, will she start to demand for more privacy like having secrets that will only be shared with friends but not mother? Will I be ready for someone else to have my girl's heart? Someone who is way immature??? Am I wrried too early? But I'm sure lots of parents out there do have all these issues in mind once in a while kan? I still have a loooong way to learn...

Christmas was all simple for our family. We did a small family lunch gathering on the 24th (but my birthday was forgotten...huhu....my 25th b'day), went to church on the 25th, visitings to relatives' houses on the 26th and 27th. And then comes 28th......we've got an early morning news that my cousin has passed away leaving behind a wife and kids (can't remember how many. I only know 2 of them but could be 3). It was a really shocking news as none of us saw it's coming. They said he was having heartache few hours before he died. I can't remember when was the last time I saw him but his eldest son was spending Christmas in Miri so I get to see him few days ago. He was such a good boy and when I remember his face, my heart sank. The boy is gonna grows up without his dad. I pray for his soul and may God bless him and his family.

I wanna send Amanda to Kindie, I wanna walk her to her classroom on her first day of school, I wanna pick her up from school and listen to her talking about teachers and friends, show me her homeworks and I help her with it, I wanna give her supports at her sports day, her exams, her recitals or stage performances, I wanna be the first person she tells about her crush, I wanna be her shoulder to cry on when she has a bad day, I wanna help her with her college application, attending her graduation day, walk her down the aisle on her wedding day....

I wanna be there on every stage of her life when she allows me. I pray that God would allow me to be there...

I turn 25

2008-12-24T00:34:00.002+08:00

I've just turned 25 today and it feels good. I thank God for all the beautiful and wonderful things that I've gone through...

Laksus Course In Damai Beach 2

2008-12-19T11:02:00.003+08:00

When there's a situation happening between a man and a woman, people always put the blame on the woman. Well, at least 95% of it. It's true. I've seen many kind of that situation, in fact I am in one of it. It's really funny. Those who do not know the real situation make their own conclusion saying I am the one who started it. That I am the one who approaches. I am the one who make the first move... The moment I heard of that, I became really angry. For the first time, I can't control myself and snapped on someone else innocent. It's too much!! I've drawn myself far away from him. I avoided him, I ignored him, I cut my contact with him but when he sent me a letter and I replied that, everyone started gossipping about me wanted him back. Just because they saw my letter but they didn't see him giving me his letter. I felt so unfair over the whole situation. And that makes me very angry. Up till now. I feel like going up to the person and slap them, smack them or throw them into the sea. Okay, I'm just saying ;p

None of it matters now though. I'm going back to Miri tonight and that is more important. Go back to see my little one. These people are all shallow-minded. I guess they minds have all been altered or blocked from seeing things in differet aspect.

Gladys and I will take a bus of the same time as the one we used to come here which is at 9pm. So, estimately we'll arrive tomorrow by noon time. It's gonna be a long cold journey again so I better prepare 3 layers or 4 layers of clothes. Ferdinand, one of the participants (cute guy ;p) are gonna send us to Kuching town later. Not sure what are we gonna do to kill the extra time later.

I better stop now The speaker in front might not be happy seeing me focusing on the laptop screen. :)

Come back later. Daa...

Laksus Course In Damai Beach

2008-12-18T21:05:00.006+08:00

I know I've been away from blogging world for quite some time now. There's nothing much to share lately since there's none nteresting happening, that's why. For this week, I'm attending an entrepreneurship course in Kuching for a week. Been here since last Sunday with Gladys. Hmm, I must admit that I missed Amanda so much since the first night I was away from her. My only consolation is that knowing she has her cousin at home now as well as her aunts. So, I'm glad that she's happy with them.

Gladys and I took a bus from Miri on Saturday night last week. We took off from Miri at 9pm. The journey to Kuching is indeed something that we can call "a forever journey". It's like you thought you were about to arrive to the destination but all you can see along the road was bushes and houses which distance are like few meters away from each other. Since my body temperature cannot cope being in a cold environment, I got problem to put myself to sleep in the bus. Gosh! That was really cold in there even though I've put on like 2 layers of clothes.

We arrived at Kuching's bus terminal at about noon time. Jen & Boy waited for us and drove us to Holiday Inn Kuching. We had to take a shuttle bus to bring us to Damai Beach Resort (the course venue). The journey to Damai took about 45 minutes. We checked in, we registered at the function room where the course was gonna be held, we had showers and we rested while waited for our dinner at 7pm.

Today, I have been participating in the course for 4 days. Very interesting topics and knowledge I have gained so far pertaining to the rule of entrepreneurship and infos on how to set up a business and many more. I made a lot of new friends and contacts. All of them are very nice and friendly. A few of the participants have set up their business in which they joined just to polished some skills and knowledge, while some of us just have our ideas and dreams that is yet to be fulfilled. Soon I'm sure :) I have no regret attending this course.

I love it here. I missed this place a lot. I met few of my ex-colleagues who were nice to me and they still are, sigh! how I missed the times when I worked with them. But this is life....One chapter as gone, it will come another one. And I just have to be patient to wait for the best to come. I also met the guy who has played the biggest role of the changes in my life, though I hope I can avoid him during this course, but I can't stop him to come to me. That pains I have long left behind, unpleasantly appears again. But so far I'm glad I can fight it although I must admit it is too painful to bear. Just another 2 more days to go. I can't wait to go back to see my beautiful daughter.

Suzanna, Gladys and I

2008-12-06T10:12:00.003+08:00

I was tagged again! This time by beautiful niece Gracie. Psst...She said I'm a cool aunt. Am very flattered ;p Thanks dear. Here are the rules...

1. List these rules on your blog.

2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog.

3. Tell 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.

4. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.

5. Link the person who tagged you.

6. Leave a comment for each blogger.

Answering the tag:

7 facts about me:

I love cheesecake. I have learnt to bake it myself.

I am scared of worms, leeches or anything of that kind. I will scream my lung out if it ever touches my skin.

Sometimes, I get very clumsy. I knocked on things, things slipped off my hands etc...

I really like singing but I can't sing well.

I love to read. Books, mags, newspaper... anything.

Not fully confident of myself. Can't change that.

I love the way my life is and was and is to come.

My 6 unspectacular quirks:

** Sorry, I've to skip this one. I can't think of any :(

7 person I tag:

I was tagged by:

Grace

My comment on each blogger I tagged:

Stanley - Good looking boy
Geneve - A great friend
EVo - Sweet guy with cute GF ;)
Eugene - An example of a wonderful father
Jerry - Lovely smile
Sist - Beautiful young mother

3 Friends Hang out?

2008-11-30T22:50:00.003+08:00

When you are going out with a friend - A -, and suddenly A called another friend - B- to join you for casual meeting at a nearby coffeeshop, you're cool with it. Getting to meet A's friend and making a new one of yours, sure, why not. If that person can mix up with A very well, that person can mix up with you also.

But, what disappoint you is when A and B make the most of the conversation only between them. I mean the topic goes around only between the two of them. When you try to get into the conversation and give some kind of your thoughts, but it seems like you are still ignored at almost the whole topic. Then you start to think that they may not really want to share the topic with you and not so comfortable having you around. That's when you excuse yourself given some sort of emergency reason. Hoping that they can continue with their Q&A, problems solving, discussion or whatever it may looks like.

You see, if you are going out with 3 friends, you and one of your friend have been sharing some of your personal stories which another friend only knows a brief but never had such kind of topic discussed with you, it would be much better to save the personal sharing to another time but not with someone else's presence. Four persons can make you into 2 pairs, but 3 person, you're gonna leave that one person out of topic.

Think about it!

The RAHMAN Prophecy

2008-11-25T09:36:00.002+08:00

I'm sure most of you have heard about The RAHMAN Prophecy about the next-in-line Prime Minister of Malaysia since the first one Tunku Abdul Rahman. I have heard about it since my days in school. This topic has come out in the front page of the Borneo Post newspaper yesterday. It fulfills the prophecy when Dato Seri Abdullah announced Najib's takeover in March 2009. Once Najib has taken over the seat from now PM Dato' Seri Abdullah, it will complete the name of the first prime minister. Let's recall all our prime ministers shall we...

1. Rahman (Tunku Adbul Rahman)
2. Abdul Razak
3. Hussein Onn
4. Mahathir Mohammad
5. Adbullah Ahmad Badawi
6. Najib Razak

Now, it made me thinking, what will happen after the name completed? After Najib takes over which indicates the last letter of RAHMAN, does that means it would be the end of BN ruling? Cause that's how it looks like. Well unless it continues with the surname la of course. Putra Al Haj? Or maybe just Al Haj? Or maybe just Haj? We never know. What do you think?

Kenyah Cultural Festival 2008

2008-11-22T00:08:00.004+08:00

The Kenyah Cultural Festival held by PKKS (Persatuan Kebangsaan Kenyah Sarawak) in Miri on the 18th to 20th of this month has been a pleasant success. Came out with the motto "The Spirit, Pride & Patriotism of Usun Apau", the people has demonstrate this motto throughout all the 3 days event. There were many activities organized by PKKS such as:

1. Cultural Dance Competition
2. Sape Competition (Sape is the music instrument which played the famous Orang Ulu music)
3. Traditional games & telematch
...to name a few...

Despite the unexpected weather, the spirit of togetherness was shown supportively by the people who attended the events. It's a definite peace to see all our own people cme having fun together.

On the night of the 20th was the closing dinner. The theme of the night was "The Sound Of Usun Apau" which means (as interpreted by the chairman) is the total quiet & solemn sound of the jungle... The supreme night was filled with the performances by the winners from the prior 2 days competition. Salute to the Kenyah community of Sg Asap Belaga for their creative performance on Datun Julut (Long-line Dance) and Lan 'E (traditional group singing / poetry). They won those two categories. Beautifully done, terrific teamwork!!

Another highlights during the dinner was the Bungan Lisu competition (beauty pageant). As told by the elders, Bungan Lisu was a very beautiful kenyah girl in which on top of that, born with her natural gentleness and good manner. No man could resist her during that time and no other women has ever been seen more beautiful than her. I don't have a good knowledge of this legend which is sad. Coz I wished to share the stories with my kids one day. Back to the beauty pageant, I must say all the participants looks very beautiful. I wish I have the pictures to share it here so you can see for yourselves. When the MC presented the girls, they mentioned their names, the village they are from and other personal infos. But one thing that amused me was, almost every girl has the same hobby, that is "Melayari Internet". Paling tak tahan is when one of the MC stressed on that part like this "Gadis ini SAAAANGAT suka melayari internet". Hahaha... perlu ke? Erm, nothing's wrong la actually. Saja nak ketawa with my brother. A girl from a village called Long Moh won the pageant. She deserved it. She was bold and confident and tall and very pretty but above all she has a pleasant smile. I over did that sentence didn't I? ;p

Overall, everyone seemed happy with this event. Although with the presence of some local politicians, there were a little bit of political actions, (duh@! Eyes rolling!), the organizer has done very well with the competitions, games, the dinner and the fact that they managed to invite many Kenyah community to join in this event, is what makes the whole programme meaningful. If there's gonna be another one next year, I wish to volunteer.

*** Usun Apau = it's a large area plateau in Baram but I'm not really sure what is the original story of it. I need to check with some elders before I can explain it here so 'll come back on this ya. But if any of you know, please...feel free to share with me. :)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One of my favourite ABBA song from the movie Mamma Mia

Slipping Through My Fingers

Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile
I watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness
And I have to sit down for a while
The feeling that I'm losing her forever
And without really entering her world
I'm glad whenever I can share her laughter
That funny little girl

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see what's in her mind
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table
Barely awake, I let precious time go by
Then when she's gone there's that odd melancholy feeling
And a sense of guilt I can't deny
What happened to the wonderful adventures
The places I had planned for us to go
(Slipping through my fingers all the time)
Well, some of that we did but most we didn't
And why I just don't know

Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture
And save it from the funny tricks of time
Slipping through my fingers...
Slipping through my fingers all the time

Schoolbag in hand she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile...

Salsa Dance Lesson

2008-11-19T16:14:00.001+08:00

Yesterday I attended a SALSA CLASS for the first time. Haha....I can't believe it myself but I did it though. Someone from the class invited me and my friend to attend the free lesson. It is one of the recreation activity organized by Shell Berhad. Well, since it's free why not just join.

The dance requires us to wear high heels shoes during the dancing. Ladies wear high heels when doing salsa right. So, there we go. Dancing with heels. Our instructor was a guy but he's not anywhere close to Antonio Banderas. Sigh... The first thing to do was to get used to the basic steps. Kinda hard. Me dance like batang kayu. ;p We did few more steps and moves and it's getting funnier and funnier as we did it more. Although, I couldn't stop myself looking down at my steps instead of looking at my partner, but...i'm getting there. (nodding confidently).

One more thing that we were encouraged to bring was actually a partner. Our own partner. But since we couldn't find one, we end up dancing with the extra men at the class. My partner is considered an intermediate level so he did it much better than me. Unfortunately, he seemed to enjoy the dance all by himself, concentrate to the music and paling tak tahan menari dengan mata stim. Aiya....betul- betul mengganggu konsentrasi. Anyway, I didn't bother to look at him so I just dance and keep looking down on my steps.

Overall, it was a fun experience. One of the girl at the class has done well with the steps and moves. She looked so graceful when dancing so I inspired to be like her. We are gonna continue with this class again next week and the other upcoming weeks. Ish! I must get a dance partner very soon.

2008-11-13T08:58:00.000+08:00

I got tagged by Eugene. I need to reveal 8 things about me. Sweat...Sweat.... never done this tag thingy before la Eugene. Hehe.....

So, 8 things about me. Hmmmm..... Okay, here goes:

I am not crazy to Kolok Mee or Laksa Sarawak like other Sarawakian do.
When I start watching a TV series, I'll follow all episodes till the end.
I love to sing but I can't sing. That's why I don't go Karaoke. Tsk Tsk
I've never been fully confident about myself.
I don't remember my dream everytime I woke up from sleep.
I find it hard to hate people.
I love & adore my daughter above all things.
I am a slow cook ;p

Now I have to tag 5 persons. Can put Stan out of list since he's got tagged few times. So, I tag:

www.geneawell.blogspot.com

www.gracesuling.blogspot.com

www.leto-longmoh.blogspot.com

www.theglamoursdiary.blogspot.com

www.berry-no-bloggie.blogspot.com

Parental Dilemma - Fever

2008-11-12T14:16:00.006+08:00

Yo! Come on move this^^

Shake that body (4X) yeah...

(hmm, hmm humming...)

Baby let me show you how to do this,
You gotta move this,
You're...doing fine..

(humming again...hmmm...hmm...)

Oh! This song is soooo good. It makes me move my shoulder and shake my head to the left, to the right, to the left, to the right... when listening to it. I bet you must have been wondering what am I doing? Hehe...I'm listening to a song and sing along with it. It's an old song if I'm not mistaken. The title is MOVE THIS by Technotronics. Go search it in google so you can sing with me. And dance to it :)

I first listen to this song from a movie titled Let's Go To Prison starred by Dax Shepherd and Will Arnell. Anybody has watched it before? If you haven't, you should! Especially those who loves Comedy. They showed it in HBO recently. Or Star Movies - can't remember. Watch the movie and I'm sure you will love it too.

You know about people saying kids are usually more demanding and "manja" when they are not well? Like fever for an instance. Now I know how does it feels. Amanda had a high fever yesterday. I was so worried I brought her to doctor with bro. The temperature reading was 39.7 degree Celsius. That's definitely high for a baby. Poor her. But she's recovering today. Although her body still a bit warm but not as high as yesterday. This whole day - up till now @ 7pm - she ask for this, ask for that, merengek-rengek, sometimes take my hand and pull me to the kitchen but then come back to the living room again bla...bla..bla... But you know what? Instead of feeling irritated, it makes me feel even better. Not because she's not well but because she knows when she needs me. Adore her so much. Oh ya, parents, last night the doc asked if I wanna give her antibiotic. Another fellow mommy told me once that it's better to avoid giving antibiotics to babiesdue to long term chemical effects. So, I decided not to give her. I just gave her paracetemol and multivitamins instead.

Stan said I should start preparing Amanda to enter beauty pageants when she reaches that certain required age. Haha... that's cute, Stan. Hmm, looking up at the ceiling, I started to imagine me listing down all plans for Amanda. LOL.... Nah, I don't wanna be such kind of parent. I mean plans are good but not to the extend that she has to follow all the plans. I'll let her decide what her dream's like and I'll help her to fulfill it in any kind of support that she needs. But I'll make sure she has a bright future!!! Whoa! Do I sound like ambitious parent now? ;p

P/S: Don't forget to watch "LET'S GO TO PRISON". Shake that body...

Family Issue

2008-11-11T08:36:00.000+08:00

Misunderstanding happens a lot in family, agree? No matter how beautiful and happy our family is, there will be at least one or two kind of misundertanding throughout the year. A friend of mine (Let's call her Jessie here) yesterday told me that she thinks she has a problem with her parents. Jessie is staying in her family house right now while her parents and 2 younger siblings is staying abroad. So, it's kind of like she's looking after the house for the family. She has a boyfriend of one year. The parents don't seem to like him. Well, the guy can be arrogant sometimes. Erm, it's more complicated than that actually. I'd like to share it with you guys but I'm afraid Jessie doesn't like that.

So briefly, this guy and his family have given an unpleasant impression with her parents. Jessie's parents have given numerous advice and their thoughts about this relationship. They don't like the idea of her spending more times at the guy's house and even slept there, while their house was left unattended. Some more, people talk...a lot! So, Jessie then decided to take their advice and stay home most of the time now. With her boyfriend of course. The past few weeks, Jessie said her parents were acting strangely with her. They never called her often anymore. Like no calls at all last week, her mother called few days ago just to tell her about their plan when they come back here next month. She didn't ask about Jessie like she usually do and when Jessie tried to make a conversation, her mother said she can't talk too long and hang up. Jessie sent few SMSes to her father, but he never replied or he would just say he's busy. It is all so different than how they used to be. Due to this, Jessie is sad because she doesn't know what did she do wrong. She didn't ask for my opinion but I gave her my thoughts. I told her that she should approach first, sending SMS or Emails, ask thoroughly from her father of why they act that way. She's a grown up, she should know. I was quite surprised when she refused and even say she doesn't want to bother them.

As a friend, I was disturbed with her answer. I told her that this is family matter. You cannot treat a family problem like how you treat a friend. When a friend suddenly doesn't want to talk to you one day and stare at you like you have done her wrong, okay, you can ignore her for the rest of your life. But not family. Yes, maybe it's true that her parents don't want to talk to her but there must be a reason. Even though I don't agree with her parents but doesn't mean she should let it go also like there is nothing that should be fixed.

Deep down, I know what could be the problem. Her parents don't agree that she stays together with her boyfriend. Relatives keep talking about them and I'm sure they don't feel comfortable with it. When they suggested for the 2 of them to get engaged, they refused and said that they are not ready. Of course there could be other problem as well.

My point is, it's family. No matter what, we should work hard to fix things. To leave things hanging and both side wait for another side to act first is so wrong. It will not solve whatever misunderstanding the family is having. Her father used to call me from abroad to talk about her. He said she has changed. During her last visit, she brought her BF along. She spent more times with him than her family. No one is actually to be blamed here. Besides, who am I to judge. I'm just saying family value is way above all...

Rare Thoughts

2008-11-03T21:11:00.004+08:00

I have not been updating blog regularly for the past couple of weeks, have I? Busy? Not really. Maybe staying home keeps me more attached to the little one (Amanda) and forget about the Internet (or precisely, computer). When I'm with her, she attracts all my attentions. Naughty but super adorable. Anyway, there are few things have been happening around here. More towards the good cause, which is.....good.

Younger brother has got a job in Immigration Department as one of the officers. Thanks be to God for brother is gonna start at Miri Port. Close to home, close to us. So now he has a permanent job with the government. All the best to bro! Today is the first day he reports on duty but before he starts working, he has to do few things and med check up. So, I became the driver to bring him from one place to another, the whole day. There were times where I had to wait for him while he was doing his things. Fortunately, I brought a book along. Oh, I'm reading a book about the two most influential persons ever lived. You know who...

I started to feel more relax to tell people about me and Amanda. I mean people from secondary school or Uni etc... I didn't directly mention it of course but posted some pictures in Facebook. I let guess themself or they can ask around if they want to know. Explanation ain't easy and I hesitate to explain or to answer related questions actually. One of the many reasons why I refuse to mention. Because there will be what, why, where, who, how... Tell ya, it's tiring to recall back. My replies are usually short and simple. Enough to make them get the brief picture. Though I realise they will start talking amongst them - which they do now. But, it's fine. I've stopped worrying about that long time already. All I know, I'm happy with my girl. There has never been a day that I do not laugh or smile because of her...

Conclusion, it was a tiring day. Especially, when I had to cook for dinner also. I was trying to finish up this entry earlier but I had to leave it half way because Amanda was awake and kept calling me from the living room downstairs. The time now is just a few more minutes towards midnite. She has just gone to bed and I have the chance to continue blogging.

Well, I guess that's all for today. Duh! What am I writing. Anyway, hope you enjoy reading this one. Cheers... :)

20 Truths To Live By

2008-10-26T20:50:00.002+08:00

Faith is the ability to not panic.
If you worry, you didn't pray. If you pray, don't worry.
As a child of God, prayer is kind of like calling home everyday.
Blessed are flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.
When we get tangled up in our problems, be still. God wants us to be still so God can untangled the knot.
Do the math, count your blessings.
God wants spiritual fruits, not religious nuts.
Dear God, I have a problem. IT'S ME!
Silence is often misinterpreted, but never misquoted.
Laugh everyday. It's like inner jogging.
The most important things in your home are the people.
Growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional.
There is no key to happiness. The door is always open.
A grudge is a heavy thing to carry.
He who dies with the most toys is still dead.
We do not remember days, but moments. Life moves too fast, so enjoy your precious moments.
Nothing is real to you until you experience it, otherwise it's just hearsay.
It's all right to sit on your pity pot every now and again. Just be sure to flush when you're done.
Surviving and living your life successfully require courage. The goals and dreams you're seeking require courage and risk-taking. Learn from the turtle - it only makes progress when it sticks out its neck.
Be more concern of your character than your reputation.

Hope For Our Land

2008-10-20T23:58:00.003+08:00

Hope. The kind of hope that the people of our land have been waiting and waiting for way too long now. And now, it seems to slowly banish in the thin air. Yes, it will one day disappear. Surely will with that kind of dishonesty in people we thought we can rely to. Who would continue to trust?

Folks from Baram were having a so call a dialog session today with "the govt - Baram MP". Our village sent a few rep as well including dad. The dialog was supposedly meant to discuss about the project for reserved lands in Baram and other related issues. A dialog session where the people can share their difficulties or what they need to do upgrade their village and some try to claim the basi monetary help which are all seems to be an election campaign gimmick and false promises. Yes, that's true. MP has showered people with many promises and aid but try to collect complaints from all the kampung people for your research. Although with all the support we gave them, it's like no meaning to them.

The dialogue today somehow has turn to lecture or speech by MP only where the people can't say out their mind but to just listen to what's the government has to say. Heard from my dad, MP said something that made the whole crowd frowning and I'm sure the feeling of beginning to distrust. MP said, all lands in Baram belongs to the government. Whenever government want to take the land back, for the use of whatever project they call it, they will get it back. Whatever settlement on that land have to be cleared. The people has to make way for the development. We the people should have no right to protest because the land belongs to the government. Is that so? Dear sir, the lands belong to the government because it's written on the paper for what you say is the proof. I bet you have heard of the term "tanah adat" haven't you? Or how do we say it in English? Custom Land? I wish to remind you that these people has been staying in this land since God knows when. The land is where they start. It's where their ancestors started to settle down and built up a community. Oh please, don't tell us you don't know how does living a kampung style like. You've been there done that.

Before you think you can win the Baram folks' heart, show respect to us as we do towards you - all the time. We need you to help us upgrade. But there's many other thing can be done than destroy the land. We are your people, ride with us and let's work together...

Miley Cyrus - I Miss You

2008-10-18T22:47:00.005+08:00

Sha-la-la-la-la, sha-la-la-la-la
You used to call me your angel
Said I was sent straight down from heaven
You'd hold me close in your arms
I loved the way you felt so strong
I never wanted you to leave
I wanted you to stay here holding me

[ CHORUS: ]
I miss you
I miss your smile
And I still shed a tear
Every once in a while
And even though it's different now
You're still here somehow
My heart won't let you go
And I need you to know
I miss you, sha la la la la
I miss you

You used to call me your dreamer
And now I'm living out my dream
Oh how I wish you could see
Everything that's happening for me
I'm thinking back on the past
It's true that time is flying by too fast

[ CHORUS ]

I know you're in a better place, yeah
But I wish that I could see your face, oh
I know you're where you need to be
Even though it's not here with me

[ CHORUS x2 ]

I miss you...

** thinking of you..

Encounter With Salesmen

2008-10-15T22:53:00.004+08:00

When I was at a mall today, I was approached by salesmen who were promoting a brand for kitchen / household appliances. I normally don't stop to listen as I'm well aware I can't afford to buy those stuff. Plus, I think we already have all that necessary for kitchen at home. Besides, today I didn't have that much convenient time to stop and listen to them (need to send my cousin back to her course venue) for I know although they say it's for 5 minutes, including the persuasion process - it usually ends 30 minutes later. Even so, I decided to give them a try - after assuring them that I am not interested to buy. I thought that if I can't buy their product, maybe I can help them to improve their skills and make the happy to talk to a customer. So, a salesgirl take over the task on me.

So, the girl started with a small talk, asked me a few personal questions like my job, my family and where do I stay which I was happy to answer. And then, she pulled out a brochure and give a brief information about their company and the products. Well, a very brief info would do me good but I think she focused too much on that particular topic in which I was expecting her to promote me the products and what's special about it. In between, she included more small talks. Sometimes, I felt her questions were a bit too personal for me to share. Another annoying part was that, there's another guy (a colleague of hers) who once a while, out of nowhere, interrupted our session. When the girl has already asked me a question in which I answered and he asked me the same thing again which I was not happy to answer twice. Eventually, he joined us - seems to me like he was trying to assist his colleague (which was okay). What's not okay was that, when the girl talked, he talked, and the girl talked again and that's really annoying. They sounded more like pushing the customer than introduce the product.

When it came to talking about cooking pans, they handed me one to hold - for me to feel it myself of how heavy is that 5-tier steel coated pan. Or that's how they call it. It was heavy of course. What special about this pan is that it can keep the food warm even after you cook it few hours ago. Interesting but I don't think it's necessary though. This guy which I talked about earlier somehow come out with a wonderful suggestion. He said:

Him: Akak tau tak apa kegunaan lain pan ni?
(Do you know what else you can use this pan for?)

Me : Puzzled (Frowned). Ape dier?
(What is it?)

Him: Haa!! Ni kalau akak gaduh dgn husband akak, akak boleh ambik pan ni baling kat kepala dia. Hahaha...
(If you have a fight with your husband, you can use this pan to throw it to his head)

Me : Huh?!!

My....thanks for that idea but no thanks. I was holding Amanda so they thought I'm married. I'm sure that's meant for a joke but a joke that I won't laugh for. Can I really throw that heavy pan towards someone I love eventhough we were having a fight? Man, even if my husband cheats on me, I'm not gonna risk my future by assaulting somebody and go to jail. I think I prefer to steal all his money and possessions and go on with life. Sounds better eh? Hahaha....joking. That's not gonna happen. ;p

So, after 30 minutes introducing only 2 products, I decided to leave. I told them I was in a rush and really need to go. Although, till that point, they still try to persuade me with some tactics to get a sales closed. They even gave me a free voucher. But I just let it go. I was just not interested to hear more.

I understand they were just doing their job and I'm sure there are sales target they need to achieve. I'm even willing to give them a try. Who knows I might agree to get something - if I can afford of course. But, I think there's too much of unnecessary personal questions and that guy who likes to interrupt the conversation did not offer any comfort at all. Good thing is, I learnt something here. Perhaps, if I ever get involved in this kind of job, I have some point that I need to take into consideration. :)

I Love BSB

2008-10-09T13:17:00.002+08:00

I can't remember when did I start to be a fan of Backstreet Boys. Was it because of Black & Blue album? Or was it Millenium? What? Don't tell me you don't know this band. They were like one of the hottest band in the 90s. Disagree? I think it was Millenium and I remember teling my friend that it would be only a temporary affection. But as years gone by, and Black & Blue came up, I realised I was still a fan. I still remember to sing their songs from Millenium. Their latest one doesn't disappoint me too. Among all their songs, there are few of my favorites. One of it is the one I am listening now "How Did I Fall In Love With You" from their album Black & Blue. I've been listening to it for years and I still love it.

Remember when, we never needed each other
The best of friends like
Sister and Brother
We understood, we'd never be,
Alone

Those days are gone,
and I want you so much
The night is long and I need your touch
Don't know what to say
I never meant to feel this way
Don't want to be
Alone tonight

-Chorus-
What can I do to make you mine?
Falling so hard so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?

I hear your voice
And I start to tremble
Brings back the child that, I resemble

I cannot pretend, that we can still be friends
Don't want to be,
Alone tonight

-Chorus-

Bridge:
Oh I want to say this right
And it has to be tonight
Just need you to know, oh yeah!

I don't want to live this life
I don't want to say goodbye
With you I wanna spend
The rest of my life

-Chorus-

What can I do, to make it right
Falling so hard so fast this time
Everything's changed, we never knew

How did I fall,
In love ,
With you?

Ei, not that the lyrics related to my life. I just love the song okay. Yea, yea, so what if I'm a bit soft at heart. *cough*cough*

Parental Dilemma - Losing appetite

2008-10-08T23:13:00.003+08:00

Dear Readers....,

Especially parents! I need some opinion / suggestion here. Little Amanda seems like has lost appetite on her normal rice porridge. I made her rice porridge everyday in which I mix with variety of either meats or vegetables. I change the menu on rotation basis. Sometimes, I add in a bit of Bovril ketchup to make it tasty. But over the past few days, she rejected the porridge I tried to gave her. It started when she had a slight fever early this week. I'm afraid she'd get hungry if she doesn't eat. Being very active and playful, I doubt that milk feeding is sufficient for her energy. And she needs proper nutrition too. The only way I can make her eat is to give her the same thing I am eating and she would play with the food which at the same time put some in her mouth. But, my concern is her nutrition balance won't be right that way. Can someone share with me some kids' menu (of her age), or is there something that can help to gain her appetite? Please....

God Answers

2008-10-07T23:50:00.002+08:00

Alone?
"I will be with you." - Matthew 28:20

Afraid?
"I will make you strong" - 1 Peter 5:10

Wanna cry?
"I will comfort you" - 2 Corinthians 1:3

As I was really in need of something that can console me or comfort me from one bad situation I am facing, a friend (who didn't aware at all of what I'm going through) send me a SMS as above. In few seconds, I stopped from doing my work. I read the SMS and keep staring on the screen for a while. And I said to myself, those are all the answers I needed for some question I quietly asked from God. I know those are just the summary of the whole verse so I took my Bible to read the full sentence.

Matthew 28:20
"....And know that I am with you always, yes, to the end of the time."

1 Peter 5:10
"You will have to suffer only for a little while; the God of all grace who called you to eternal glory in Christ will see that all is well again; He will confirm, strengthen and support you."

2 Corinthians 1:3-4
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, a gentle Father and the God of all consolation, who comforts us in all sorrows, so that we can offer others, in their sorrows, the consolation that we have received from God ourselves."

It is strange of how God works sometimes. I couldn't see this as a coincidence. I believe there's a reason why my friend (who is seldom in touch with me) send me this SMS and why God has chosen her to relay His message. We often ask from God and we want answer from Him. Sometimes we thought the answer will come to us right away or directly but actually, God uses many ways to give His answers. Through friends, through words from the book we're reading, or through songs. If we are not alert enough, we might probably missed the message and we thought He doesn't care. We actually need to open up our heart to see it and to uderstand it. (Devil, don't try to disagree with me ;p)

Though the SMS may be a coincidence but you know, it came at the right time and it does help me feel better for I know there's someone who always care for me. Although few things still leave me wondering and worrying, I know I've made the right move.

The beautiful part is that the end of the SMS comes with this:
From A Faithful Friend, JESUS.

P/S: Thanks, Esther...

Family Get Together

2008-10-02T23:31:00.010+08:00

Hari Raya holiday was supposed to be spent visiting Malay friends. But we were stucked at home do not know where to go. So, we finally came out with an idea to organize a small family gathering at this place called Taman Selera and it's by the beach. So, we started calling few cousins to join us, me & sis cooked some foods from home to bring to the gathering and on the way there, we bought some snacks too. We didn't expect many would come as it was a last minute plan but we were wrong. The spirit of family togetherness is beyond everything. Woseh! ;p

We had fun, I had fun, our kids had fun. We shared foods, we shared stories, some of them, as usual, told us jokes which never fail making us laugh. We created a lot of joy. After the eating, we went to walk by the beach and to the jetty. Amanda & Mariel were on their first time at the beach. They both were so excited with the sand, the wide running space, and the sea water washing the shore. Here's some pictures to share:

Rumah Panjang style...

Manda: Okay, my first time here. What do I do first??

Manda has found something fun to do, Mariel still figure out...

Mariel: I'm off to swim. C'ya...
Manda: Kakak, wait...
(one of my fav shot)

After the clean up. I'm proud we managed our rubbish & leftover very well

Though some didn't seem to bother to keep the place clean...

SAD...

Sometimes people tend to forget about their responsibility for the environment. Enough said...
But above all, it was a very nice experience. We planned to have this kind of activities every once a while. Too often wouldn't be so fun, would it. Others should do it too. Family is not only about your immediate relatives like your first cousins or your's first nieces or nephews. Dad has always thought us to recognize all who are related to our family. Our cousins, cousins' children, the children's children. Hey, I'm a grandma to my cousin's daughter's children, okay. Did u get that? Hehe... Let our kids know their ancestors, who their relatives are, so they can appreciate their origin more and able to see the value of a family.

**********************************

On my way home from the beach, I received a sms from a close friend, D expressing her disappointment. She met up with our ex-colleague at a farewell dinner. They were talking about me, D and another girl who were so close when we were working together and the ex left a remark by calling us 3 "young & foolish" in front of the others. D was shocked, embarrassed and upset for not being able to say anything defensive and stand up for us. But I told her, that girl doesn't know anything. As we already know, she uses bitchy words in her speech and she always condemn others and is so judgmental. It's fine. Besides, who has ever been young and perfect without ever doing stupid thing at least once. We might have been foolish but we were young, we had fun and we learnt. We had a wonderful friendship. In fact we were lucky for being able to do stupid things. I bet she has never get the chance to try something "foolish". Life can't be perfect right. Hope D will get over it. It's not the past that matters but the future - I told her that. I hope I'm right. ;)

It's getting late. Goodnite everyone....

One solid reason why I don't wanna leave Miri

No Title

2008-09-25T11:56:00.007+08:00

HOW and just HOW can someone you newly met and had 2-3 breakfast with can easily invites you to go for holiday trip together. When I say together, it is just you and the other person ONLY. Not forgotten the dinner invitation and visits to the beach on weekend. Uncomfortable? Though it can be simply rejected in a polite way, but the insistence and repetition of the same offer (which you do not feel like taking) is somehow annoying, confusing and boring. Not intended to be rude or boastful but there is a limited level of patience that one can hold. Anyhow, you still can act positively. Yes, you may take the offer and bring along your girlfriends and boyfriends, why not. The more the merrier, right? **wink

Elite - Manisnya Senyumanmu

2008-09-23T11:02:00.003+08:00

Everyone, let's sing along. 1, 2, 3, 4...

Ku rasa, satu dunia
Sudah mengerti...perasaan ku ini
Mengapa oh Mengapa
Takkan kau sedar ku mendampa..
(2nd verse)

Chorus: Mata bertentang mata, adakah kau terasa
Cinta di hati kita
Kau istimewa PALING UTAMA YANG SATU....

Apakah itu? Paling utama yang satu? Ni kes asal lirik jadi jer ker? Hehe... No need to elaborate more. ;p
Why this song? I don't know. It's just popped out of my head this morning. I need something to laugh on earlier and I remember this song. Hehe.... Paling utama yang satu... Hahaha... tell me some jokes, guys. I need to laugh :)

P/s: Stan, tengok. Mana ada prejudis.. hehe

Where The Hell Is Matt?

2008-09-19T13:10:00.002+08:00

A very very very nice video to share with all of you...
Feel free to pick your favorite.

14 months in the making, 42 countries, and a cast of thousands. Thanks to everyone who danced with me.

Happy watching guys!

Indonesian Drama

2008-09-19T12:46:00.003+08:00

I have heard and read some blogs that say Indonesian drama series mostly are adaptation from dramas from other countries. More like copycat. Hey, who has never watched Indonesian drama series. Like the popular Bawang Putih Bawang Merah - cis! I never watched it till finish after 2 - 3 episodes. Such a ridiculous story line. I hate the many konon-konon coincidence scenes. And super dramatic actions. Mom love Indonesian drama so I get to "accidentally" watch a few scenes when I walk pass her while she's watching. Most story lines are the same. Rich guy crazily in love with a poor girl, rich family try to separate them in any ways possible because of the lifestyle difference, then there will be a third person in the relationship, dendam here and there bla, bla, bla.... sheesh!

Now, there's one new drama playing on TV2 @ 6pm. It started yesterday and the title is "OLIVIA". Erm... my name. Interesting! So I thought this must be something different. Maybe can try to watch. Then I realize, it's a copycat from a movie "She's The Man", starred by Amanda Bynes. Ces! I love that movie, I've been watching it like 3-5 times. And now, it's in Indonesian drama version. Hmmm..... Don't want to copycat Malaysian Drama kah? Impak Maksima? Hahahaha

Getting nervous

2008-09-17T10:45:00.003+08:00

I know I made such a drastic decision when I handed it in. I thought of it many times, really, but it was only that day that I was very very sure of what I wanted to do. So, yeah, geram geram I sent it. And now, approaching that day, I somehow get the butterflies roaming inside my stomach. Just a few more days left and I haven't got any news? Aiyak! Nervous....nervous...nervous... Hahaha

Alcohol Effects

2008-09-15T09:47:00.002+08:00

Fun getting drunk? Really? I know some of you may once a while like getting drunk because it is said by getting drunk, it helps you to forget your problem for a while. I drink alcohol. But not too much and it's occasionally. And I don't wanna get drunk coz I'm afraid what would I be if I turn sober ;p

I receive this email from a friend and glad to share it here in my blog. Side effects of alcohol my friend said and its remedies...

1. Symptom : Cold and humid feet.

Cause :

Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the
Drink on your feet).

Cure:

Maneuver glass until open end is facing upward

2. Symptom : The wall facing you is full of lights.

Cause :

You're lying on the floor.

Cure:

Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.

3. Symptom : The floor looks blurry.

Cause :

You're looking through an empty glass.

Cure:

Quickly refill with your favorite drink!

4. Symptom : The floor is moving.

Cause :

You're being dragged away.

Cure:

At least ask where they're taking you!

5. Symptom : You hear echoes every time someone speaks.

Cause :

You have your glass on your ear.

Cure:

Stop making a fool of yourself!

6. Symptom : Your dad and all your brothers are looking funny.

Cause :

You're in the wrong house.

Cure:

Ask if they can point you to your house.

7. Symptom : The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white and
The music is very repetitive.

Cause:

You're in an ambulance.

Cure:

Don't move. Let the professionals do their job.

And you thought I was serious? LOL..... Anyway, those points might probably help you when you're sober ;p
Have a nice day...

Help Ease The Burden

2008-09-14T22:04:00.004+08:00

The recent news about the MASwing plane crash in Ba Kelalan shocked me. Though all 14 on-board were unhurt, but the fact that the weather was said to be "considerably fine" on that day somehow made me wondering what was actually wrong? Technical problem or pilot skills or ...**Shrug.. they are still figuring it out. When I first saw the news on Bulletin Utama, I thought it must be the bad weather or the strong wind (especially now that the raining season is here). There were few cases on plane crashes in that area the past few years, and it was mostly due to the bad weather. Since airplane is the only transportation to remote places like Ba Kelalan and Bario, I think the appointed body have to ensure that they provide good services and planes. Maybe they need to start adding some special equipment or technology into crafts that fly to such places.

The reason I'm concerned is because my sister in law is serving the government at a school in Bario. She flies down to Miri at least every once a month using the same type of aircraft. Really pray to God that this will never happen again.

Now different issue..... The politicians are seem to be very busy with their political issues and their political nemesis. That some of them forgot what they need to stand up for. Looooong time ago, people who lives along the Baram river (there's many kampung there), use river transport to travel from one place to one place. Believe me, it takes like a week to travel by boat from Kuala Baram to my kampung (not that I ever tried though ;p dad told me). Now, the people have few other options like by plane or four wheel drive. Most of them prefer the four-wheeler because plane doesn't allow them to bring boxes of daily necessities for stock. Afraid it'd be overloaded. By road, it takes about 5 hours to reach our village. Some other villages take more than that. It's kinda lucky for us because we can reach our village directly, but to other villages, some need to take another hour of boat ride to reach their house. It's a real loooongg and tiring journey.

It's fun, of course. But what's not fun is to drive along the Lapok Road. Lapok Road is after Bekenu Road heading towards Lapok town where after that the journey continues by Timber Camp track (which is much better condition). The challenge of Lapok Road is the bumpy condition - I mean like very very bumpy and it goes for like more than an hour, trust me, you will vomit if you experience it for the first time. Ask your Baram folks. The road is not well kept eventhough that is the main way of all the village people who are heading to the town. Proposals have been made many times, to ask for the road to be fixed. Promises were heard during election campaign year by year but until now, the condition has not changed. Cakap tak serupa bikin kata orang tua. Even in the recent budget report 2009, Baram area was not mentioned. I don't know. Maybe it's hidden somewhere in the paper eh. Kalau ada...

Oh dear our wakil rakyat, hope they will fight for this issue to be solved. It's for their own people. It will surely reduce the long journey even at least for one hour. 5 hours become 4 hours, sounds pretty good isn't it?

For those of you who wants to experience the journey, you should arrange a trip here and to the villages. I will be delighted to guide the trip if requested. **wink... Don't worry! We do not practise head hunting anymore. Hehe...

Love remains forever

2008-09-13T09:26:00.004+08:00

Do you think I've never been seriously in love?
Do you think I can easily forget love?
Do you think I take it all for granted?
Do you think I am not grateful?

Do you think it's easy to say what's done is done?
Do you think it's easy to accept reality?
Do you think I can just ignore and forget?
Do you think it's that easy?

You tell me to let it go from my mind,
You tell me to just blow it off from my life,
But I tell you it's like living in a world they say is so fine,
Yet I'm trapped in a cave trying to survive.

Yes, you do not understand that,
I reckon that you never will,
Of how deep I can love a person,
And how much I can appreciate the presence.

No, it has never been easy,
And I'm aware that it will never fade,
Though as much as I keep myself busy,
It remains here, here in my heart.

And that, I remember there is a saying,
"Once you have loved, you will always love,
For what in your mind may escape,
But what's in your heart will remains forever..."

**anonymous**

Everywhere is the same

2008-09-11T10:39:00.004+08:00

As much as I don't want to complaint about work, it came on over and over again bugging me non-stop. Not that I'm not aware of things to be done or undone. The issues from previous staff were being dumped all upon me when I came in. I took it well enough anyway which I thought it was then settled when suddenly now they start asking me how are this and that and this and that haven't settle? Huh! I was like "really ah?" Then, have to start digging my emails again and re-forward and those issue that supposedly settled from my side (it's supposed to be their turn next), now I have to take over pulak. Adui...tak faham la.

Hmm, nevermind la. Just do what needs to be done. My only consolation when comes to this kind of issue is "Everywhere is also the same situation"

The Script: The Man Who Can't Be Moved

2008-09-10T21:56:00.006+08:00

I'm getting more and more in love with The Script lately. Have you heard of the band name? The Script is a band of 3 very handsome and talented young Irish men. Currently based in London after signing a record with a company there. I first saw them in MTV in their music video on "We Cry" - their very first single. I was captivated by the song and the video right away. Plus, they're cute ;p can't blame me. Hehe... Later, they came out with the second single "The Man Who Can't Be Moved". This song was performed during the recent MTV Asia in Genting. Their other songs are "Before The Worst" and "The End Where I Begin". Among all 4 songs, I loved the second one the most. Because of the melody as well as the lyrics :)

Allow me to share this song with all of you. Enjoy...

**Since I cannot embed the video, you may click on the link to watch it. I'll attach the lyrics only ya.

The Script: The Man Who Can't Be Moved

Going back to the corner where I first saw you,
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag. I'm not gonna move,
Got some words on cardboard got your picture in my hand,
Saying: if you see this girl can you tell her where I am,
Some try to hand me money they don't understand,
I'm not... broke I'm just a broken hearted man,
I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do,
How can I move on when I'm still in love with you...

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.
So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

Policeman says son you can't stay here,
I said there's someone I'm waiting for if it's a day, a month, a year,
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows,
If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go.

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.
So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

People talk about the guy
Who's waiting on a girl...
Oohoohwoo
There are no holes in his shoes
But a big hole in his world...
Hmmmm

Maybe I'll get famous as man who can't be moved,
And maybe you won't mean to but you'll see me on the news,
And you'll come running to the corner...
Cos you'll know it's just for you

I'm the man who can't be moved
I'm the man who can't be moved...

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.
[Repeat in background]

So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

Going back to the corner where I first saw you,
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag not I'm not gonna move

Love it!

Sleepy huh?

2008-09-09T10:15:00.003+08:00

I'm sleepy again. I tend to be so sleepy at work these few days. And tired too. Rae couldn't sleep well last night. And few nights before. And so did I. Can't wait to go back soon. Nak balik! nak balik! nak balik!

Sigh! Poor you.. and you...... and you

2008-09-06T00:24:00.004+08:00

Hairan Hairan Hairan.... sorang cakap yang ini racist sorang cakap yang tu racist, yang ini nak yang itu mintak maaf, yang itu degil tak nak... ape ni? Macam budak2 sey. Ni macam si Abu perli mata si Ah Meng juling pas tu tak nak mintak maaf lepas Ah Meng komplen kat mak dia. Okay okay, takder kaitan. ;p

But, yeah... why everyone is talking about the rights, respects, dignity etc?? They are all the leaders la. They have the same mission towards what they're taking care of. Salahkah kalau SMS semua org (habis tu dunia dah canggih kan), ajak jumpa then bincang baik-baik? Looking for solution instead of pointing fingers to one another. Nak cakap pasal ditindas, hello!! ni kitorg yang memang orang asal tanah kami ni, korang tak fikir ker? Kami boleh berdiri, demand itu demand ini, tapi kami taknak melampau sebab kami faham gak. Dah sama-sama diam kat satu tempat ni, kenalah banyak bertoleransi. Dulu Pengetahuan Moral dapat gred ape? Eh! Luper lak. Tak ambik eh?

Sigh! Please God, help this land we're living in. We are so worried about our children's future...

Aku Malaysian tapi tulis campur-campur omputeh, kira racist gak ke?

Congratulations

2008-09-05T10:14:00.003+08:00

Shocked. Stunned. Happy. Sad. Excited. Amazed. Surprised..... everything. Different kind of feelings are mixing in me now. And I wanna scream in excitement. Hehe...

Oh gosh! Though I've tried to react normal towards it, but this news has really really affected me this morning. Like, it makes me wanna cry, can u imagine that. I feel so joyful for her. I don't know why but I remember this feeling. It's similar to when I've got the news about having a baby. You must have been guessing what is it huh? Here I tell you. My close friend is settling down!!! That's right! It's supposed to be normal isn't it? But her...oh my. She's been through a lot of things with me. We've been together since Uni. I remember knowing her as a very unique person, and different from others. She was with me during my period of "trial" and she was also there sharing my joy. And now, she's gonna belong to somebody who loves her dearly and there'll be a line to draw between us. Oh dear, I didn't see it's coming at all yet I'm truly happy for you. You have God's blessing with you, you do not need to worry. Now, I can't wait for the announcement of the big day.

To my dear friend, thank you for all the sharing and caring. It's your time now to seize your happiness. You will always have our supports.

Welcome Gene

2008-09-04T11:11:00.004+08:00

Who wants to hear someone grumbling about Front Office job?!! Hehe.... we read blogs about waiters and waitresses. So let's now see what's a receptionist do and how do they feel confronting fussy customers. She just started the blog so appreciate you all can give her some encouragement to continue blogging. We like various stories in life don't we? **wink

Maybe after this some of you may change your perception about Front Office staff or some may have the idea on how to treat the staffs in the future. Have fun reading Gene's blog.

Siblings

2008-09-04T10:20:00.002+08:00

Would you rather lose your friends or your siblings? Siblings can be the closest friends you could ever have. But some create enemies in siblings because they do not like competition or their parents love their sister more than them. The best thing about siblings is they are your direct connection in this world and the closest one. They are the one who would do everything they can if you need help. They can lend you their shoulder whenever you want it. And they will help you out of your misery when you fail to find your way out of it.

Guys, why do siblings need to hurt each other when there actually a better way to express things. Why do they need to show their ego and say all the arrogant things that would hurt. Why is there no other way of being humble and gentle and show respect among siblings? The saddest thing happen in a family is when brother hates sister, and sister do not want to see brother's face ever. No more phone calls asking about parents, no more birthday party invitation and all the connection suddenly broken. Who would get affected with all these? The parents!! For they bear children to see them growing up loving each other, looking for each other's well-being. Parents are the ones who will feel hurt the most. They want to love all their children equally and constantly visit one child to another without having to see them hating each other. But children do not understand that. They care more about their feeling. They do not want to apologize because that will only show they're weak. For how long, people? For how long? Till your parents die in dismay? Will that change you? Will you forgive each other because you mom want you to before she closed her eyes for good?

Love your brothers and sisters for who they are for what they do. Discuss in the best manner when you need to. Shouting, blaming, bringing up the past or no reason won't help. Held each other's hand and carry those who are unable. This is what siblings for. Appreciate it...

Brothers, I love all of you. I am glad to have all of you there when I need you. And I'm glad how mom and dad has turned us into. May our loves and respects grow stronger for our children.

Babies from the Year of Pig

2008-08-28T16:27:00.004+08:00

But we are no piglet ah!
We are just the babies who were borne in the year of the pig (the twelfth zodiac in Chinese calendar). The owners of this blog are both come from the year of pig.

As taken from Wikipedia:

"In Chinese culture, the pig is associated with fertility and virility. To bear children in the year of the pig is considered to be very fortunate, for they will be happy and honest."

I'm glad that Amanda came last (year of the pig) and she definitely has brought in that happiness and honesty in our life. There are twelve animals in Chinese calendar namely:

Rat, Tiger, Dragon, Horse, Monkey, Ox, Dog, Rabbit, Snake, Sheep, Rooster and PIG

These animals represent each year in Chinese calendar by rotation which means from one year of Rat to another year of Rat, there is a gap of 12 years.

The 5 elements Metal, Water, Wood, Fire, Earth... are also used to decribe of which year a person comes from. As also found in Wikipedia Amanda comes from the year of FIRE PIG while I come from the year of WATER PIG. According to the "rules", FIRE's best partner is WATER because WATER will help to cool down the FIRE. If the information is accurate, I can say me & Amanda make an ideal companion because we have the same Chinese zodiac and our elements nicely matched. Hmm....let's see how accurate is this when Amanda grows up :)

Am I Addicted To Coffee??

2008-08-28T11:30:00.001+08:00

Coffee contains several compounds which are known to affect human body chemistry. The coffee bean itself contains chemicals which are psychotropic (in a way some find pleasing) for humans as a by-product of their defense mechanism. These chemicals are toxic in large doses, or even in their normal amount when consumed by many creatures which may otherwise have threatened the beans in the wild.

Many coffee drinkers are familiar with "coffee jitters", a nervous condition that occurs when one has had too much caffeine. It can also cause anxiety and irritability, in some with excessive coffee consumption, and some as a withdrawal symptom. Coffee can also cause insomnia in some, while paradoxically it helps some sleep more soundly.

**source from the Internet...

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I drink coffee everyday. Doesn't matter what brand as long as it black and taste like one. Nescafe, Indocafe, Serbuk Kopi cap Ah Moi (this one's the best ;p)..... I will have at least one cup of it everyday. Except for the one with Ginseng in it. Though I never tried, the word Ginseng alone makes me reject the drink.

Right, talk about my coffee consumption. Though I take a cup of coffee daily - or sometimes can go up to 2 or 3 cups - I'm still not sure if it's actually addiction. Because, if I don't see it, I don't look for it. Like for example, if I take breakfast at any coffee shop, I won't order for coffee. I'll opt for something else. Or, if I forgot to take breakfast, I just stay in office and never bother to order from nearby coffee shop. It's only when I'm at home, and I see the Nescafe can, then only I feel like having it.

If according to the article above, I do experience anxiety sometimes. but since I started doing some exercise, I can feel it is reduced. But never irritability or Insomia. I can take one big mug of coffee at night and can still sleep soundly. So guys, is this still considered as addiction?

Though I know consuming too much of coffee can affect health, I'm not thinking of breaking the habit yet. Hehe..... Kopi secawan!

Cust. Service Rep

2008-08-26T12:46:00.003+08:00

How do people take customer service representative ah? How do you guys usually talk to customer service rep especially when you want to complaint over something?

It's not easy to work in customer service department okay. Especially when the rep has to handle complaints and requests and inquiries and payments and bla bla bla.... It's a lot of work to do and it's a real challenge when you are not familiar with the product you're dealing with. Say electronic products. The most common complaint that one will receive are the warranty claim validity, the incorrect shipment, and the quality of the product and it's packaging.

Look, for our company, we are just the distributor. Which means we are not the one who produce the items or do all the packaging job. Because we take the order from customer, we forward the order to the supplier, we receive the items from the supplier, not allowed to open the box because customers need to receive the original packing, and then we ship it out to our customer. That's it. So, if the customer receive a messy packaging or wrong shipment, it is not our fault. So while you are showering us with all your words of anger, please let us explain first. We understand your unhappiness and we want to help. Just let us take down your complaint and voice it out to the right people. Because if you want to let out all your anger to the customer service rep, and like blaming us for all the crap packaging you are saying, you are being unfair to us. Despite giving the explanation and offer the best help I could, all I get is that bad remarks!

Python in da house

2008-08-25T09:15:00.002+08:00

I live next door to a man who keeps a python AS A PET. YIKES!!!! Gross, I know. I've seen the reptile and it's quite big sized. He and his family just moved in about last year. At first when my brother told me about it, I thought he's just scaring me off. Besides he said there's two of it. I only believed it when I saw it with my own eyes. But only one left because the other one has escaped to the nearby bush! As far as I know, the owner didn't hunt it down or reported to the authority. Oh God, how can he takes it for granted. We're not talking about lizard or "biawak", it's a python that would swallow human being for a living. Gheez, I hope the reptile won't harm anyone.

But that's not just it. See, we have a dog. A female dog. Recently, she gave birth to 8 cute puppies. Very very cute puppies (puppies are all cute right). Last week he came to our house and picked one puppy and innocently tell my sister in law at the balcony (at that time) that he took it for the python. Though my sis told him that those pups have been booked by some relatives, he just said "Don't worry. There are still plenty of them". How annoying is that! Taking something belongs to other people without asking permission. That was not the first time. Before, we had some stray cats which liked to come to our house for something to eat. They were like our own cats but we never really kept them. They just came and went. After some time, these cats stopped coming to our house. We thought that someone must have "adopted" them or they started visiting other people's place but only to know that our neighbor gave em to his python. How sad! They lost my respect because of that.

If they really wanna keep the snake as a pet, do something la kan to feed it. But don't do something so inhumane like that. Some people treat pets like cats and dogs as family. They are not for eating la. Hunt for a fox if you really need to but DO NOT TAKE OTHER PEOPLE'S PETS!!! Errggghhhh, this is sick. Just don't make me report to PERHILITAN...

Here's a video sent by a friend. A boy sits on a moving python and I think the python gets so tempted to eat him. Gheez! I hope the boy was saved.

God bless...

Happy Birthday, girl

2008-08-19T15:54:00.011+08:00

Dear friend,

it's been 12 years huh and we're still friends and knowing each other better. So much to say about you, so much to mention about us and so much to reminisce about the past but I don't know how to put it in words. We both know we have everything kept sacredly in our heart. Here, I just want to wish you

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

Another year older is another year to feeling great...

The country I live in

2008-08-18T11:36:00.004+08:00

Last night in Bulletin Utama, I heard something catchy. I was just came out from the kitchen when I heard this:

"If you are not responsible, you are next to animal"

I didn't know who said that as I was not watching the TV but it caught my attention. Well, the issue was about the Permatang Pauh by-election and I think this guy was talking about the opposition party. Can someone tell me if that quote exists somewhere or he just made that up? I've never seen animals run a political party so why compare to them. Breaks my heart coz I think my cat is quite responsible. Haha....nothing la actually, I just thought the quote sounds funny :)

******************************

I'm not really into politic but I care for my country. Simply because I care for my generations' future. Woseh!! I managed to catch some news on TV yesterday about the by-election. The scenario during the nomination day somehow disgust me. I didn't see their patriotism for the country, it is more on reigning dignity for winning. No offense, anyone... but my first thought when I see the scenario, is like the fighting scene in Tamil movie. Okay, Tamil movie is much better la of course because there's always a hero appears. -____-

And why la this by-election held in August when we're approaching the National Day. This year is the most less Malaysia flags seen on the road. People don't seem to care about hanging the flag at their home or on their car. Even the TV ad doesn't show much of the coming big day. Not as much as previous year. The patriotism spirit is getting lesser and lesser by the year and this is not healthy especially for the younger generations (?? I mention that twice? aiyo! Sound too old meh?).

Malaysia for me is a nice place to stay. It's where my home is right? But all the political issue is dragging it into something unpleasant. I hope everyone will start to join their hands to protect the country cause I love Malaysia, I love Sarawak and I LOVE MIRI SO MUCH! Don't we all love our home? Let's all make our home a better place...

Pictures to share...

2008-08-18T00:50:00.005+08:00

Here is another owner of this blog:

Messes with her biscuit

She stuffed all the biscuits in her hand into her mouth

Some job for mommy today. Sweeping the crumbs on the floor.

Hehe...

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

And lastly, both of us...

LIFE IS FULL OF LOVE ..... Thanks Sweetheart

Special Welcome

2008-08-11T23:17:00.003+08:00

And the blogging world is getting wider and wider...
She once told me she's lazy to blog. That's why she never has one. But thanks to Streamyx for now that she gets to be online at home, she starts a blog page of her own to fully utilize the unlimited Internet connection.
So guys, I would personally like to welcome my dear lady friend who has the passion for music (she would have made a great singer in our entertainment industry). Come, let us all pay her a visit and give a warm welcome... :)

A Kenyah writer

2008-08-09T23:34:00.002+08:00

It's so rare to see people writes in their own language nowadays. I myself, though a Kenyah & Kayan, never been able to write the language properly in a sentence. Even the spelling will turn to something odd to read. Hehe... Anyway, I can't speak Kenyah or Kayan very well. There's always rojak in my speech. ;p

But my sist here is very good in her Kenyah language. Well, those who are not Kenyah Lepo' Tau of course won't understand what she wrote but what I'm tryin to say is, she's one who will be able to help to preserve the language through her blog. So, my Kenyah folks, do visit her blog... Only My Words

** if you're curious to know about what she writes, drop her a comment or something. She's one nice lady :)

Aku puji melebih sangat eh Kak? ;p

I Feel

2008-08-08T12:43:00.003+08:00

My mind is not here. My heart is so desperate to run away.
I feel the forces and I'm fighting it hard.
Oh, what actually is right to do?
Dear God, I need Your guide, I need You here with me.
I couldn't hold on if it's not because of You.
Why am I still here when my joy is not here?
I feel reluctant everyday but still I have to do it
It's like killing me and I can hear loud laughs from somewhere
No, not the joyful laugh, it's the cynical ones...

God, I leave it to you. I am so indecisive.

P/S: Not a poem. I just wanna write it like that.

I Don't Understand This Life. Do you?

2008-08-06T23:09:00.004+08:00

Why? I don't know.... I just don't understand some parts in life.

Let's discuss few situations here:

Situation 1:
Someone is having terrible financial difficulties - low income, high living cost, children need to go to school, one is heading to college, house is on rental and has lapsed for 2 months, owner keeps coming back asking for payment, and a lot more - Because of all these responsibilities, he needs to work extra hours or do some part time job in order to cover all the expenses. Unfortunately, he falls sick and not able to work. Financial situation becomes worse. The eldest has to skip college to support the family - he has to leave his dream behind...

Situation 2:
She's pretty, she's sweet, she loves him dearly though they only knew each other for less than a year and became couple since the first time. He was nice initially but slowly started to show his true colors. First, he digs her relationship history, then he checks her phone: calls history, sms-es etc, then he gets all her emails password, after that, her money is his money - his salary never gets to the end of the month but he doesn't worry because he says his GF can cover for him. He started to control her movements, who's she with, where she goes, she can't talk on the phone, sms, send emails with ANY MAN at all. She did not do anything similar towards him. He just uses her as he wants it..... however, despite all those treatments, though she always complaints and unhappy, she's still with him. Friends pity her situation and tell her to leave if that's what she wants to do. But all she can say is "I can't. There's nothing I can do?".
Pathetic isn't it? She makes herself stuck in the situation...

Situation 3:
When she has the chance to shine in the company and build herself a strong career ground, she gets pregnant. Not at the right time. She quits her current job, goes through the 9 difficult months alone, facing all kind of perceptions and assumptions but she doesn't care. She's strong enough to handle that, she thought. When the baby comes out, he is her light, her joy, her love, her everything... She become even stronger than before and more driven to work harder. Though it is difficult for her to find a job that she has to do a lot of part time work to earn some moeny, she doesn't give up. She has the baby that inspires her. Just as she is about to build back her career, she lost her baby. No need to give detail la. Thinking of it already make my heart stops for a while. This time, she cannot handle. It is just toooooo hard for her. She cries in grieve everyday, doesn't have the strength to start a new life...

So, there goes 3 situations that I have thought of. Could have been better, but don't know how best can I describe it. Okay, nevermind that.

What I actually want to share is how people usually reacts to other's sorrows, sadness, disappointments, anger etc etc.... How do you usually respond when someone comes to you and share their problems?
Will you say "I understand your situation. What to do. Give it to God. He will not give you something that you can't handle". Nice isn't it? For situation 1 and 2, that might be useful. Situation 3..... I'm not sure. She has gone through the first one and she managed, she tried hard to look for job without giving up easily, she managed that as well. The 3rd trial...?

"This is a test for you" another person's advice. "Don't give up. It's God's plan. There will be a bright side". When people said, it's God's plan, I wonder. Because, if it's God's plan, can others blame you for what happen? It's not your choice. It's God's plan. Oh no, I don't doubt God at all. I always believe in God. It's the usage of sentence that has made me thinking.

Some even swear at you and mock you for what happened like "He deserves it! Last time I want him to become my husband and leave his children he doesn't want. He could simply inherit my fortune you know. See what happen to him now? Serve him right!"
Well, that comes out from an angry, boastful rejected love. But then again, who are we to judge right? Every single one of us in this world has our own journey. We never know how's it gonna turn the next day. You might be the happiest person today but tomorrow turn otherwise.

Life is very difficult to figure out. Very complicated to understand. When I was driving home this evening, I thought that if God doesn't give us something that we can't handle, why do some people commit suicide? Isn't that because they can't handle what they are going through? This part I don't understand. But as I think hard, then I kind of get myself an answer. There's always a way to solve problems. Turn to something that we believe in, we will find the answer. The key is to "Open Your Heart". If you keep on regretting on what happen and do not allow your heart to receive the answer, that's where you fail and the best you can think of is to run away from the problem through the easiest way.

We human being have choices to make. Giving up is not in the list.

Summary from Kch Trip - not quite

2008-07-30T12:09:00.002+08:00

Sorry for the loooooooong absence. Was pretty occupied the past few days, I couldnt find good times to spend for blogging...

Now, I don't know where to start.Oh ya, the trip to Kuching - It was worth it as I get to meet up with few old friends and we spent a looooot of time together hanging out and went to places. When the bapoks (they call themselves with that name) get together, you know how fun would it be in the group *wink...

My only regret was not being able to go to the movie carnival as it was raining heavily that Sunday evening. I was hoping to watch Over My Dead Body - at least - but what to do... But, me & D went to church so that's good. =)
Shutter actually asked me to take pictures and post it here. But I got too excited laughing with friends I forgot about the camera. Hehe...... Anyway, planning to go to Baram Regatta next weekend. Mom has been giving clue about going, so I guess maybe it's her turn to enjoy pulak. :)

************************************************************************************

To Kuching For Movie Carnival

2008-07-26T00:19:00.004+08:00

I'm going to Kuching tomorrow evening till Monday. Haven't done with my packing yet. (Not even started). I don't like having to bring big bags. Cause I want to bring them into the cabin so I dont have to wait at the luggage claim area when reach the destination. and by doing so, I don't want my bag to be heavy as well so that it's easy for me to carry. No I don't have a small luggage bag.

What's there in Kuching?

This is not my real intention of going to Kuching but I've just been told by my friend that there's gonna be a movie carnival. It's an anually organized event usually held for three (3) days - Friday to Sunday. I've been to this carnival once only. I cant remember when but it was held at Sarawak Cultural Village. 3 movies in a row will be shown in one night and displayed on a big screen. Oklah, quite fun. Watching movie of course it's fun!

Seems like I'm gonna join my friend at the movie carnival on Sunday. Which is ..... cool!! And before that we're going to ska gig at Miami - no, not the real Miami. It's a club I think. Wow! this really worth the trip. The show on Sunday will be The Spiderwick Chronicals (7pm), Over Her Dead Body (9.15pm), 10K B.C (11.30pm). All of those that I havent watched and always wanted to watch when I got time so I'm glad now that I'm gonna have that time. I just hope that it's not gonna be raining on Sunday evening.

Anyway, tomorrow there's an open interview by Shell Berhad @ Miri Marriott. Initially I planned to give it a try. When I read through the ad again, then only I saw this small requirement "Minimum degree holder". Which means I'm not qualified.... But Gladys advised me to just give it a try. Who knows I might be lucky enough to impress them with my job experience. Okay then, I'll go. Wish me luck ya. Wait! wrong... Please pray for me ya...

Emo x Emo

2008-07-23T23:18:00.004+08:00

I went out for a brief meet up session with my close friend after work. We're very close. We were even closer before. Not because we get into a fight or something. It's just that something has come in between so... But we're still close though. Hehe....

When she told me this one thing, it striked me a bit in my heart. Though I already sense that but I think he's just getting too much. I was disgruntled over what he has said. Like he wants to be right all the time and she has to please her all the time. I understand this relationship thingy sometimes makes someone feels insecure and that afraid of losing what he has own. That's where the controlling act comes from. Hmm...That's normal of course. I have no problem when somebody just wants to protect his partner but I hate it when he thinks he has all the rights on her and bullies her the way he wants it.

Enough said. Now I know what's his perception on me. Sad, a bit. Upset, yes. How can he simply judges me like that. Angry, yes. Please lah don't restrict her movement like that. And, can't you give a little space? Calls record also want to check ah? I have a feeling that he actually never likes me to be closed to her. Sigh...

Hmm... I've heard of many comments from every corner of my life. I've gone through it so I just want to move forward. Yeah, it's easy to judge people and say whatever you want. You say kononnya you concern but behind my back it's otherwise. Nevermind though. It doesn't stop me from keep living happily. Anyway, it's okay about what he has said. I don't expect him to understand pun.

Time to sleep... zzzzzz

Most Complicated Watches Ever Invented

2008-07-22T23:23:00.025+08:00

You wear watch? I don't. I do wear it sometimes but most of the time, my one and only watch is meant to be kept in its box. Hehe...Got handphone enough lor. Can still check time in it.
We all know what are watchess made for. That is so we know when to wake up, when to go to class, when to eat rice or when is teatime or to make ourselves ready in front of the TV for the latest CSI episode. Usually when people ask you what is the time now, you would just look at one glance and you are ready to answer the person. Enough to know the time now is 1.23pm by just looking at it in a second. But can you tell time is it now by wearing these watches?

The second diagram is the instruction as to how to read it. Not so bad la huh! Maybe after some time you'd probably smart enough to figure out how to read it. How bout this one here?

Hoh? Where's the number? Oh, here got instruction

Can you understand the instruction? The writing's too small I know. Sorry bout that. Have to do a bit of calculation there eh. Whoa! I think that I might probably take 1 day to figure out what was the time about 24 hours 60 minutes before.

And there are more like this one:

Cool! But complicated...

And this one:

And this one more ridiculous:

Haha....do you wanna go through the hassle of taking out the calculator and start your math just to figure out what is the time now? I don't. By the time I finish calculating to get the time at lunch, it is probably time to go to sleep already. Hehe...

Like my friend said " Sampai besok pun aku tak reti" hehe...
Hmm...bergaya la tapi. :)

Thank You

2008-07-21T22:50:00.003+08:00

I'm very happy today. Just few simple things happen and those have made me really really happy. Earlier on I want to write about it but I was so filled with joy and didn't know where to start. I'm just so happy to know I have God in my life and I can be sure that He's always there whenever I need Him. Thank you God....

Jogging at Taman Bulatan

2008-07-17T01:21:00.007+08:00

Hmm....found it hard to get sleepy tonite. Wonder why?!! Me & Gladys has started to jog everyday after work at Taman Bulatan Miri recently. That is one of the earliest parks in Miri with a big pond. Used to be very popular with its sampan rides, duck rides (apa ntah) and all. Not forgotten the giant clock in the middle of the pond which we could hear it rang every hour from our house. But now, the clock is not more than an abandon replica (because it's no more functioning), the pond is full with waterlilies which supposedly looks beautiful but it's not because not taken care of properly. The sampan and duck rides are none to be seen anymore and there's only one kiosk opens instead of 3-4 of them about 15 years ago. The place used to be very busy with families and couples especially during weekends but now.... the park is only occupied with joggers and children playing at the playground while their parents are doing the running.

Pictures taken from website

Hehe...still not good with picture uploading ;p.
Seriously, it is a good place to jog. Nice view, comfortable track, covered with trees so we won't feel the heat from the sun too much, lovely breeze and ideal location - it's just on the way home. Ever since I started to exercise a bit like this, I feel more refreshed though initially I got the muscle pain. But now no more. I kinda like doing it so me & Gladys will continuously go for the run everytime we are free after work. Even if Gladys is busy with work (sometimes she goes offshore), I don't mind to run alone. I see many of the joggers run alone too. Maybe, one day I can bring Amanda along too. When she's big enough to join me. In fact she can join me now. But of course I'll be doing the chasing more than jogging la. Amanda loves big space. She just can't stop practising her new skill - walking & running.

There goes an updates in my life. Come back for more ya. Daa...

Cake frosting babies

2008-07-17T00:19:00.008+08:00

I know how tempting cakes and biscuits and all kind of pastries are. They're cute, yummy and sometimes can become my saviour during my busy lunch time. I love cakes. They are just lovable. And I'm beginning to get crazy with cupcakes. Like.....this one here:

Nniiiceee!!

Kawan kawan, please send me cupcakes for my birthday ya **hint! hint!

I used to dislike biscuits cause I don't like the crumbs. But people always "invented" more and more yummy ones. So I couldn't resist. BUT......guys.....how about those in the pictures below? Sanggupkah kalian???

I received this by email. These are made of cake frosting with "Marzipan". What's Marzipan?

Check about it here

Sooooooo cute isn't it? Wanna see more??

"Hush a bye baby on the tree top... (yaaaawwnnn...)"

Hehe...Reminds me so much of 1 day old Amanda. Oh God, she was as cute. I mean she's still cute haha... But seriously, I won't be able to even bite that. So adorable and real. The person who made these has been given such a creative hands.

Bah, remember my cupcakes ah. Daaa....

No Lunch Appointment with Insurance Agent... Sigh

2008-07-11T13:42:00.002+08:00

I just had a lunch with an insurance agent recommended by a friend of mine. She's an old lady. Well, not quite old. Maybe at her late forty. She came with her husband and it's my first time meeting them.

Okay, of course I'm interested in buying an insurance policy. So right now I am like, trying to get comparison of which policy is the best (although I was told that all companies are so much the same). But another important aspect is to get someone who you can really trust and and can rely on for many many years.

So, the auntie MAA (the insurance company). Insurance agent being an insurance agent, they all come to us with straight intention. Make us become their client that is. I was not that impressed when she straights away started to talk about the insurance policy before we even order for drinks and food. I was so damn hungry lagik ** I didn't take my breakfast. Everytime I tried to look for the waiter to order food, she continued explaining and showing what she's got in the laptop. The insurance plan. And she will repeat the same point:

"you are still young. if you buy now, you will get higher cash return by the year. besides, this is also like saving ma. and it can cover you if something happen or can cover your family as well. you don't have to think think and keep on delaying coz it will draaaaggg you until you 30 years old and the policy change already. your cash return is not that much anymore. imagine how much u loss within that 5 years?"

Hmm, true also... But I'm hungry, auntie. I need to eat first. Where is this waiter again! I kept searching for him since just now. Oh there comes one. At last, I managed to order my food. Order only tu. There goes my half hour of lunch time.

I ordered Golden Fried Rice. I'm not sure what actually is so golden about the rice. Maybe the yellowish butter with egg in the fried rice. Yellow = Gold Maybe....

While eating, the auntie continue. Took out something papers from inside her bag...

"Here's the form ah. You fill up this form first and sign. Whenever you want to start, you just give me a call so we can meet up. You think first how do you want to make the payment: monthly, every 6 months or annually, whichever you feel comfortable. "

Wait! Did I say I'm taking it? And she already took out the pen for me? All I did was looking at her and continue eating while still looking at her and turned to my plate continue eating. Boy, can't she wait? Anyway, I didnt want to make her feel like wasting her time, so I fill in the form. Besides, it's not valid until the deposit of first 2 months payment is made. Told her will think it over again and get back to her when I'm ready.....

No more lunch with an insurance agent...or unit trust....or MLM....

I got 1G RAM

2008-07-06T01:31:00.004+08:00

When I bought my laptop, they installed it with Windows Vista Home Basic. They said it's new and latest and bla bla bla (all nice words). Well of course it's new. This window has just been launched a month before. And it's still on trial. Deeehhhhh..........
It was already slow when I used it the first time but after a year now, it gets even slower because of the files transfered here and also whatever kind of thing that my brother installed in here. It really really tested my patience. Memang DAMN slow. Everytime I felt like throw it down from the window. Gggrrrr........

But today, my brother has become my sweet saviour. He bought me 1G RAM to add into my present RAM. And the result is like---- me having my new organ transplanted (errr..) Waaaaaaahh! I HEART HIM SOOOOO MUCH!!! Keep it up brother. You should get your lovely sister an iPod for her birthday. Hahaha.....

Viva La Vida

2008-07-03T10:22:00.009+08:00

Have you heard of the latest Coldplay single "Viva La Vida"? It was only a week of its release in i-Tunes when my friend downloaded it for me. I love the song the first time I listened to it and I still love it now. In case you've never listened to it, here, let me attach it for you:

See? Nice right the song? To be honest, I really really really didn't understand the lyrics. I did not know what is actually Chris Martin wanna tell?

Well, I love this song so much so I insist to find out. I studied the lyrics lvere by verse, going through it over and over again until I think I understood. So, I came out with a conclusion that this song is about a king in Europe of how he used to be so powerful at world's eyes:

I used to rule the world Seas would rise when I gave the word

Once he saw how strong he was, and the next thing he knew, his kingdom fell apart:

And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt, and pillars of sand

That's when he realized...
What I'm still puzzled is about Jerusalem and Roman Cavalry that he mentioned in chorus. And what does Saint Peter has to do with it. I think he meant that he is not accepted by God for he said there's :

Never an honest word

When he ruled the world. Maybe huh?

Then, at the last part, the king cried:

Oooooh Oooooh Oooooh

Hehe....

Though I don't think the conclusion is not convincing, I take it as that. What matters is I love the song very much - maybe because of the melody, or because it's Coldplay. ;)

Amanda loves Coldplay. She watched Coldplay live concert in MTV.

Hillsong - Hossana

2008-06-26T11:35:00.004+08:00

One of my favorite songs from Hillsong. You gotta love it too..

My Boss

2008-06-24T15:27:00.005+08:00

When I came to office this morning, the first thing I got was a message from boss - asking me to book him a room at any hotel. He's coming for the monthly visit tomorrow. Hmm.....strange cause boss usually informs me at least a week earlier before he comes. Besides, boss is a savvy boss so he will surely buy his ticket very very early to get the cheapest price. Trust me! He will not miss the RM0 fare promotion.

Boss is also very environmental friendly. Everything for him can be recycled. He advised the staff to re-use a one-side printed A4 paper to print on the other side and if both side are printed, the paper must be thrown in a paper bin provided so we can send the used paper for another recycling. We -the staffs- are also provided with 2 sets of food container so we can use it if we want to tapau food from shop. This way, we will not waste the polystyrene pack. Cool huh! Free container some more. I use it for my snacks in office. Other than that, boss doesn't like us to always buy mineral water in plastic bottle. He said we shouldn't waste our money by keep on buying water from the shop where actually we can bring it from home. We can save more mineral water, keep that money for dinner and we can avoid contributing more empty plastic bottles in the bin. He makes a good human being, don't you think?

Boss comes out with a list of company core values which he said is a very important aspect for the company. There are six of it. Every week, we must write one true situation which can relates to any of the core values. Preferably, about what we experienced at work. He said, this will help others to review what kind of situation that we might face during our job and how is the best way we can handle it - though most of my colleagues always complaint that they're out of idea so they end up writing the same situation as the previous week. He he... Anyway, it works in some ways.

So, boss is coming tomorrow. Guess I should start getting prepared. Oh dammit! I forgot to update my score board. The score board is also boss's priority. It's compulsory to update it everyday. Since he's far far away from here, he actually comes with another idea on how to monitor the score board updates. That we in branch office are required to take picture of the updated score board and email to him on daily basis. Well, my superior told me about that idea but it is yet to be implemented. I must ask boss to give me free digicam once he needs us to start that. He he..... I think I want the Sony Ultra-slim Cybershot T2 Digital Still Camera. Muahaha....

Okay, I should go back to work. Bad me. Mengular time working. Can't wait for my boss's visit tomorrow.

Orang Ulu and Gawai

2008-06-13T10:02:00.003+08:00

Someone in my Friendster list has dropped me a message. Well, added this boy more than a year ago but never be in touch with him - no message, no exchanging comments etc -. So, few days after Gawai this year, he dropped a message in comment column and it went like this:

FS boy: Ello Kak. Camne ngan Gawai? Meriah sik?

Me: Sikda la. Kamek ilek ilek jak. Kamek sik sambut gawai.

FS boy: Sik sambut Gawai? Bukan Iban ka?

Me: Nope. Kamek orang ulu

FS boy: Orang ulu tak sambut Gawai ka? Jadi takda agama la ni erk

Me: Aik??????????? (cry)

This boy thought that because I said orang ulu do not celebrate Gawai Day (or at least not as committed as Ibans and Bidayuhs), that makes Orang Ulu Pagans / free thinker because only those with religion celebrate it. What the heck?!!! I thought Gawai was a ritual performed by the village people as to thank / worship the harvest god. Bukan ka?

I think this boy has got really confused of what Gawai Dayak actually means. Gawai Dayak is mostly celebrated by the Ibans and Bidayuhs. Long time ago when Christianity or Islam have yet to come to us, we all believe that this life was controlled by spirits and different gods for respective occasion. There are Harvest god, War god, River god etc etc. Village people worshiped River god before they went for fishing, they worshiped harvest god to help them with their plant, they worshiped jungle spirit to protect them during "ngasu" (hunting) and that they believed if they do not follow the rules as what has been told by the shaman, they will get into trouble when they made the gods angry.

Therefore, when the harvesting went well, they must held a festival or ritual to thank the gods and offer them sacrifices in return. And Gawai Dayak is a festival meant to worship the harvest god. But as years go by, and religions have come into place, these village people started to realize the truth and decided to follow what seemed to be safer to believe in. Most started to convert to Christianity, some to Islam though some of them stay firm to their belief and remain pagans to this day. Gawai Dayak has since transformed to a celebration or festival to gather or reunite the community every once a year.

I am still wondering as to why the boy said that those who do not celebrate Gawai are those who do not have a religion. I have people telling me that they thought Orang Ulu do celebrate Gawai too but not someone who thought only those with religion celebrate Gawai. Someone must have relayed the false information to the poor boy. Aren't we supposed to worry now that younger generation started to get wrong information about our heritage, ethnicity, the real meaning of certain occasion and so on? I'm worried. I do not have a good knowledge about Kenyah; the tribe, the origin, speaking the language fluently, the traditional custom. I'm not sure if I can provide Amanda with correct info if she asks me one day. Even the Internet information is not that reliable for I see many amendments and uncertain information. How lah? Ada saya bagitau Amanda "tapong" itu "ta'ah" and "ta'ah" itu "belukui" nanti. Tak kah naya. LOL.....

++ Takkan mati adat Orang Ulu di dunia ++

(**All info about Gawai Dayak are from my own knowledge and understanding. Please correct me if I'm wrong)

Amanda & Apoi

2008-06-12T00:52:00.006+08:00

I found something cute posted by my brother: **Amanda (in the picture) & Apoi (taking picture)

Amanda: Stop disturb plz....
Apoi: Dowan stop

Amanda: Plzzzz....
Apoi: Dowaaannn....

(continue disturbing)

Amanda: ENOUUGGGHHH!!!!
Apoi: (rofl...LOL)

Haha...Jahat ko poi. Pembuli!

I'm A Stripper

2008-06-11T13:43:00.003+08:00

My stripper name is: Brandy Overtower

I'm a stripper in Facebook. I'm new to the job. Please show direction. ;p

- Not Forgiven yet Not Forgotten -

2008-06-09T14:41:00.004+08:00

I thought I have been able to forget (but not forgive) all about her after I left the place for quite some time now. I recalled her bitchiness, I got over it. I heard of her from friends, I got over it. But hell NO!! Today I saw her face in Fxxx.com and I hate her again! I don't know how she has left such a big impact in me but she was totally the most pretentious woman that I have ever known back then and still is. And it once again reminds me of what happened......

She (I'm gonna call her Ms 10-faces here) came to me on my first day in such a sweet and friendly manner. And so as Miss CP. They were among the first friends I had. Man she was so nice and sweet and lovely like I could trust her and made her my best friend right away. She showed me places, she introduced me to others, she accompanied me to town, she gossipped about other staff and warned me of whom I shouldn't trust or shouldn't get close with. For some time, we were friends though not as close as D and CP. D, CP and me used to do most things together, anywhere anytime. Besides, D was a good friend from Uni.

Now, back to Ms 10-faces. I trusted her in many ways but not to the extend of sharing my personal stories - thank God I didn't. Then, there's one time that she slowly started to stay away. I didnt suspect anything though for I thought she just wanted to do things her own way and that she had her own group. Besides, D & CP didn't say anything too. Few weeks later, she was okay again and suddenly one day she confessed to me that she actually started to hate me for getting close to one guy (He's a friend). What? She can't be serious, I thought. But I kept quiet. She felt she was wrong so she apologized. I didnt want to make thing worse, I got over it right away. We, once again, spent time together once a while. I couldn't trust her as much as before though I heard from other staffs that she had been spreading rumours about me, I didn't take it seriously.

Until few months later, things get worst. She totally ignored me. Not even talked, smiled or looked at me. This time, not only her. She brought CP along. And this time, I didn't know for what reason. I tried to figure out if there was another guy. No leh... It made me feel really uncomfortable and sad for CP was very closed to me. Luckily D understood. She knew me better than them but she herself didn't know what were they up to. I thought of trying to solve whatever problems between us but seemed like they didn't care to. So, it went on unsolved. We lived and we worked in the same environment ignoring each other. Well, what's the point for me to ngegeh2 kalau orang tak sudi.

But this 10-faces girl didn't just stop there. She started to spread rumours(again) and poisoning other people's mind. Many colleagues told me of what she had been gossiping about. Hm.....some she made up, some were true from what I shared with her before. Most of them didn't listen to her for they knew who she is. But a couple of them chosed to follow her. I was mad and hurt but I didn't fight. If that's the game she wanted to play, let her play herself. I thought it was stupid if I layan her and showed my anger. Wasn't that what she wanted? To see that I'm angry and after that what? I'm sure she would laughed and declare even more war. I would not give her what she wanted. I still spoke to her for any matter related to work. Though she brought that attitude to office but I didn't want to care much. Work is work.

D left. And so I thought of leaving too. When I've got a new offer, I sent in my resignation letter. Before I left, my colleagues arranged a small farewell party for me. I didn't expect her to join of course but I think she really hated me soooo much that she poisoned few others not to go to the party. She really hated me to that extend. It was such a heart pain to care about her. The party still went on without her and a couple of those in her group. Her close friend was one of those whom organized the party and from what I heard after I left, Ms 10-faces disregard her just because of that.

That girl has a lot of anger and hatred in her, in my opinion, comes from her background. She told me many information when we were still friends - about her family, her past and present relationship and friends. She has gone through many unfortunate incident, yes, but I don't think she should judges others from her experiences. Sometimes, I was thinking if I should not blame her. Maybe it's not totally her fault. But then again, I am no angel. I can forget but it's not easy to forgive.

** I didn't know she had a Friendster account yet I found her profile today. I don't expect her to blog but maybe she reads others' blogsite. And girl, if you happen to read this, I don't mind some words from you. In fact, I'd be honored if you drop your comments on this entry.

With love,
Liv

Kurang Asamnya Itu Orang!!!

2008-06-06T00:51:00.004+08:00

And yes I'm referring to our now PM - i don't have to mention his name. 40% of price increase for petrol really kills people. Adui......I don't want to complaint la actually but the news really shocked me to death. Poor Amanda. We were all busy watching the news on TV during her birthday and rumbling about it non-stop. Hehe...bukan dia peduli pun. ;p Every price is increasing now. From petrol to utilities to daily necessities. Yang tak naik naik...... gaji jugak. Now, in responds to PM's urge that Malaysian should "ubah cara hidup", Let's see...... how can I "ubah my cara hidup":

a. Breakfast - secangkir air suam dan sekeping roti krakers cap Julie's
b. Take shower only once a day (euuwwwww........ )
c. Get a bicycle to go to work everyday (after a month, I'm sure I'll lose 5 pounds + betis besar)
d. Tapau food from home for lunch.
e. Change whatever modern soap we are using now with Sabun Popinjay or Sabun Batang.
f. Cut Astro - channel 1 2 3 kan cukup.
g. Ha!! Berkebun should be a good idea too.

Or.....maybe should just opt for this:

h. Live at Kampung for good. Go back to headhunters era and prohibit outsider from entering the village. This way, we can prevent them government from jeopardizing our place. Otherwise, they will lose their head.

Hehe..... marah la tek. Come to think of it again, couldn't be so negative about this. Maybe...just maybe...the Government has a solid reason for this action. Maybe, the increase in market price does affect our economy badly. Maybe PM really being honest and the reason he gave was true - just that he couldn't express it well enough to convince the citizen.

I'm disappointed. And angry, but the feeling of being so grateful living in a place where I can taste sugar in my coffee, add salt into my dishes, get an ice cream when I feel like it, interesting TV channels for entertainment, listen to music I like and even able to look into the world through Internet. I already have so much that other people in Myanmar or China or India couldn't. I guess God is being fair by giving us a good place to live but we sure have to pay for it, and those who lived in areas where natural disaster come and go, will get their little bit in some other ways.

If change the lifestyle can helps to ease to burden, so be it. Just that I hope there won't be so much of price increase. Otherwise, I really will go back to kampong if I can't afford to live in the city. (Jah sik Devung keli'ah dahin uting hak jenamin hahaha...)

Recharge In The New World - SCB

2008-05-28T11:53:00.003+08:00

Check out this video. Linked by a friend from SCB. Isn't it cool? Except for the last part though. Looks fake. :(

Still I love it. =)

This part of her life...

2008-05-24T23:21:00.006+08:00

It comes again. Not invited not expected, it fills the empty space again. She hates it a lot for it will ruin her day. It has come many times this week and it disturbed her working morale so as her performance. Though she has tried very hard to fight it every now and then, which she usually managed, after a while it showed again leaving her sobbing hardly in the heart.

Everyone who knows her and knows her story well enough would come forward and say "you're such a strong person"... "Strong? Describe that, anyone? What resembles strength? How does it looks like practically?" she would ask. Is it because she never cried or showed it in public and that she has just accepted whatever comes in her way? Is there any one who would really care? How to know that when she refuses to trust sweet words? "Forget it girl", says one tiny part of hers. "It doesn't matter at all. But you know what is more important to you now. What ever you have wished for, with all effort you are wiling to put on, you will succeed. You dont need somebody as much for you have been doing great alone" Guess that little explanation keeps her going on.

And there she is, staring at her most precious jewel that costs incomparably with anything else in this world, experience the most soothing feeling ever everytime she looks at the lovely face. At once, she feels guilty for her precious jewel. "How could I..." she regretfully says, not able to complete the sentence. She is not sure how to complete the sentence. Eyes closed, she says her prayer in silent asking God to forgive her and help her to get back into right track. She puts a promise on herself that she will never abandon her responsibility and that her precious jewel will always her priority and the life will be as much meaningful as others'. Some people may not believe it, but she always knows God walks with her along the wide journey... (to be continue? we'll see)

American Idol 2008

2008-05-23T10:42:00.005+08:00

American Idol 2008 is........David.............Cook!!!!!!!!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..........................I screamed when Ryan Seacrest announced the winner (in my heart only...hahaha...a bit shy to do that in front of mom). But ya, I'm really happy when Cook won. I don't mean that Archuletta doesn't deserve to win. He has a nice voice, cute personality, adorable face, everything that it needs to be an idol.....but still Cook is much better! Hehehe....

David Cook definitely deserved to win. He's cool, handsome, I love his smile a lot, and eyes too, he sings with full of confident, his voice is awesome, he's versatile - he can sings any songs and he still amazes me. Only haven't heard him rap la or dangdut. Haha.... By the way, I just can't wait for the winning song "The Time Of My life" to be installed in MP3 so I can download it and listen to it in my car over and over and over again till I get tired with it which I dont think I'll get tired with since I Love THe SONG VERY MUCH! especially when it's Cook's version. And oh ya, he's a left-handed guitar player. Man! he's hot!

Just a recap from last nite's show, the winner is pretty much expectable. Both Davids are comparable of course but Cook looked more confident - though he looked nervous when Ryan was about to announced the winner - In every performance, Cook relates with the audience well, he enjoyed his singing, he picked the right songs most of the time, and he's handsome of course - his look and personality can simply drive girls crazy. ;p -including me? err.... haha-

I hope Cook will come out with an album soon and I will surely get one copy of it.

Monday Blues

2008-05-12T15:07:00.003+08:00

I'm Lazy. I'm Lazy because it's Monday and it seems like I've got the blues. So, I decided to update my blog. Hahaha...LL is gonna kill me if he knows. ;p

LL and EF is coming tomorrow for monthly visit. *They want to make sure I don't turn this office into my own resident. Hohoho....

Sigh! the fact is I'm tired. Last week, a new colleague just walked in to accompany me and that was like *YAY!! ....for a while. Just as I thought I could start breathe easily, he told me he's got another offer. A wayyyyyy better offer. Other company willing to give him twice the present pay. -shoot my head!- and of course he accepted it la. Who doesn't want double amount. And just have to stay in Sarawak sumore. Well, of course I showed my support la. can't blame him. He's a family man and he sure wants the best for his family. I'd do that too. Not his fault. It's just me. I......actually don't like to work alone. It's not fun at all. Sometimes when I'm stressed at work, I would need someone to talk to, to complain about customer, to complain about boss...oops.... hey, complaining helps ok. If we never complain, it will remains in our heart and it will eat it up until we don't realize the heart becomes small. Hm, merepek. Anyway, I'd appreciate it if boss hires at least another person to help me -if he's too lokek to get 2 persons- . And yes, I have requested it from him. Now, it's all up to him whether want to help me onot. Coz if he takes it lightly, I won't think for one more time to ...... u know what. And he's coming tomorrow. Sigh! bosannya....

Oh, Happy Mother's day to me! it's my first time celebrating it. Rae is turning 1 next month and I really can't wait. I want to throw her a party but I think she's still too young to start partying. (hihi...) So, I want to get her something memorable, something that she can keeps till older times and she will always remember it as "my very very first birthday present given by my beloved mummy...and hey, I still wear it". Of course I'm gonna be the first to give her a birthday present. Won't allow anyone to cross me. Hoho.....

When I went home during lunch this afternoon, when I was driving and listening to "Who I am - Casting Crowns" from my MP3, I realized that I've not been crying for quite some time. And I wonder why. Even if I've got something bothering my mind, and it's really bad, I don't cry. I used to cry over my problems. I like to cry. I love doing it once a while coz it helps me release all the burdens. It really does. U wanna try? Here's how to do it:

1. Feel bad bout something. Like merajuk to your BF or feel like punching your boss' neck.
2. Get into the car, drive somewhere. Or u may go into your room and lock it.
3. Switch on the radio. Dont listen to heavy songs. Choose a light ones. Heavy songs drive u crazy.
4. Drive carefully and listen to the song. If u're in the room, bury your face in the pillow and sing along.
5. Then, cry. Scream if that makes you feel better.
6. An hour later, I can assure you, you'll feel so release and you're ready to meet up with your friends for drinking session without thinking of getting drunk.

Cheers...

- no idea -

2008-04-12T23:41:00.001+08:00

I wanna write something. But I'm wayyyyy too sleepy now. Tired the whole day of being a driver.... Nite

No Pain No Gain

2008-04-11T14:26:00.002+08:00

THE PATH

We always want to take the easiest and fastest way to achieve something or to reach something that we want. Without effort, how could we achieve greatly, without pain, how do we gain so much? Yes, there is an easy way and easy way last for only a moment.

Faith is patience, patience is faith. Hold on patiently to your faith cause we know for sure God will lead us to His never-ending love...

What comes around goes around

2008-04-09T18:58:00.006+08:00

I'm having 19 of my students in front of me sitting for their progress test 2.

........ I dont think they've paid much attention during the lecture coz they still ask me a simple question that I have mentioned over and over again. Well, this semester is gonna be my first and my last experience of teaching. That's for sure! I'm not good in being a teacher let alone a lecturer. Hohoho....

I dont like the fact that they are being naughty but at the same time (maybe under relization) they are also being sarcastic.

Hey, what do you think when our sedara comes to us and "ASK" for money. Maybe in the sense of helping them due to their insufficiencies should be ok lah. At least we know they have already tried. But that is not what happened here. Not doing anything - ust stay at home and only rely on other people all the time? Worse, they are asking from a wrong person.

Look, I have a daughter that deserve it more. And my earning are just fine for both of us and a little bit for the family. Mind you, I have not done any shopping for the past few months ...

well, okay Maybe just a pair of shoe

.......

-and a dress-

erm, okay... that was 3 months ago and I bought those because Sa invited me to their annual dinner -

Other than that, I have never bought anything for myself (yet) nor did I treat myself for any activity / party (too bad i missed the Mega Sale season). Reason is, I wanna make sure I have enough money till the end of the month. And this happens every months which means my earning is just okay. Not more and not less.....

Sad, they are some people who don't seem to understand. Or perhaps they forgot that I am a single parent who are working darn hard to earn a decent living. But what can I do. Mom always tell me no matter how bad is people perception or whatever bad things they have said or done, when they come to you for help, don't hesitate to do them the favor. "One day, you'll get paid for your kindness." As the saying goes... what comes around goes around.

2008-04-08T12:37:00.001+08:00

I've got myself a new haircut:

- and so I realize -

2008-04-06T00:55:00.003+08:00

I suddenly came to realization couple of hours ago. I was thinking of my past (which I'm not supposed to...). I started my first relationship with a very humble decent man, which last for about 3 years. But, I've ruined it all when we were apart. We still keeping in touch though (well, not quite sure what's his idea about me now...) even though not that close anymore.

The thing is....what makes me think that he ever needs me anymore whenever he has problem? Why the hell would he trusts someone who has betrayed him (or so i thought)? Gosh! In a few seconds, I could feel some kind of butterfly thingy - not in stomach but in my heart and head -. I felt embarrassed for ever offered him my company like he needs one. My intention was good but come to think about it, why would he need it from me when he is surrounded by many great people who will not take him for granted. I almost cried thinking like "what have I actually done? Stupido!"

I'm happy of what he has achieved so far. He has been doing so well and I'm so proud of him. Though it doesn't mean I'm part of it. Of course I don't mean anything with particular intention. I just wanna show I care. I really am. In fact I've never stopped. It's just that, it's not the same anymore. Haha.....I should remember where I stand now. ;)

All the best my dear!

Just a little updates

2008-04-04T23:10:00.001+08:00

I think I have been managing life pretty well since the past few months. I've got a good job, my daughter has grown up well, I met people - any kind of people etc. Ever since I left the resort, I get to know more people - be it by phones, emails or even through random intro by friends. I kinda like it this way. It's fun to get knowing people from all around us and get to share stories with them (plus I dont need to worry about keeping secret). I met a guy from Skype. A Sarawakian who worked in KL. It was totally a normal chat initially and we like getting to know each other more and eventually we became good friends. I met him when I went to KL last few weeks. It was a good start of a friendship. Turn out his dad was someone my family knows. Hmm, that's what we call a small world.

I'm really blessed to have every single person who has really supported me physically and spiritually. I'm so glad that they can understand me and keep on believing in me - that really helps and strengthen my faith. Thanks all....

Amanda is already asleep by my side. I'm gonna join her soon.

Fun feeling for Mandy's first tooth

2008-04-04T14:35:00.000+08:00

I think this afternoon was one fun feeling I have. Went home during lunch because I wanted to see Amanda. The whole morning I was so guilty and sad at work as I couldn't stop thinking how mean I've been towards Amanda last night (she couldn't sleep well i think because she has fever) She was like lingering in the room and reaching for anything that she saw. I wanted to just let her on her own but I can't. I was worried if she could hurt herself. Well, she's a baby....

Sigh! maybe I was too tired, I get stressed so easily, I beat her. I mean like slap her feet... It was not too hard or course but then again....She's a baby!!! and she's my daughter. How can i do that to her. So I went home hoping that she would understand my apologetic figure. Hehehe....only then i found out she's got something on her lower gum. It's her first tooth. Whoa!!! so happy. Have been waiting since she's 6 months old and the tooth only comes now - at her 10th month. Sorry Amanda for being mean last nite. Mommy will helps you grow up to be a good respectful person okay. Love ya sooo much!

2008-03-01T11:48:00.000+08:00

Sara Bareilles - Love Song - Funny video clips are a click away


Head under water
And they tell me to breathe easy for a while
The breathing gets harder, even I know that
Made room for me but it's too soon to see
If I'm happy in your hands
I'm unusually hard to hold on to

Blank stares at blank pages
No easy way to say this
You mean well, but you make this hard on me

I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you asked for it
'Cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's
Make or breaking this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If all you have is leaving I'm needin a better
Reason to write you a love song today

I learned the hard way
That they all say things you want to hear
And my heavy heart sinks deep down under you and
Your twisted words,
Your help just hurts
You are not what I thought you were
Hello to high and dry

Convinced me to please you
Made me think that I need this too
I'm trying to let you hear me as I am

I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you asked for it
'Cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's
Make or breaking this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If all you have is leaving I'm needin a better
Reason to write you a love song today

Promise me that you'll leave the light on
To help me see with daylight, my guide, gone
'Cause I believe there's a way you can love me
Because I say
I won't write you a love song
'Cause you asked for it
'Cause you need one, you see

I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's make or breaking this

Is that why you wanted a love song
'Cause you asked for it
'Cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's make or breaking this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If your heart is nowhere in it
I don't want it for a minute
Babe, I'll walk the seven seas when I believe that
There's a reason to
Write you a love song today